๐Ÿ”ฎretoot this and il tell you how you die

ยท Tusky ยท 81 ยท 123 ยท 44
You choke on 1 singular, entire strawberry while trying to show off to your beautiful s/o

brutal Show more

you win a pineapple-eating contest. The sheer amount of citric acid dissolves you into a puddle.

you are the first human to sucessfully have their conciousness uploaded to a computer. you get a virus.

you are reclaimed by the earth. in non-poetic terms however you fell into a ravine.

you hitch a ride on a space ferry down in the cargo bay. there isn't any oxygen down there.

you die decorating your house for Halloween. Not on a ladder or anything, you're just really bad with tangles

you drown in a washing machine. as per your last will, you are then put in the dryer.

@vaquitas you're an aspen. you live a long life. a couple carves their initials into your bark. hurts a little but it's worth it. years later they get married under your thick canopy. you exhaust your nutrients at the age of 216 and you are at peace.

@howdy you die of your own ego.
more specifically you die of getting trampled by 6 horses and run over by an Amish buggy

@8track @maria Sounds like someone is too good at being a Bard.

@8track this is so uplifting because my family won't let me celebrate Halloween and this means I get to celebrate it at least once before I die. thanks so much :')

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