Apologies, but I did that thing where I moved domains. Please follow me at @AaronLMGoodwin

Plz, my dying wish is to make my tombstone read, "he knew he shouldn't have eaten the weeks-old leftover red robin catering chipotle mayo in the work fridge, but he did it anyway".

LOL @ super competative folks trying to rile me up. Pals, I eat L's for breakfast.

I think it's TOTALLY COOL that my boss always leaves the file cabinet drawers very slightly open instead of fully closing the drawy and it DEFINITELY doesn't make it impossible for me to concentrate on anything else hahahahaha

We need a name for the latent fear one of your favorite twitter people joined Mastodon but you haven’t found each other and your missing their top-shelf content.

Jokes on ALL of you, because getting zero boosts is my kink!

Being in love must be a heckuva thing.

I mean, imagine one person being like, “I’m going to show you my junk now” and the other person being like, “oh, cool!”

At least, that’s how I imagine it. No way to really tell how any of this works in the real world.

Feelin' real surley and munching on a pink lady apple. Sorry if this is too tough-as-nails for y'all.


I recently got started with Mastodon, and I found some things confusing. Other people signing up after me seem nearly as confused. I've put together everything I know so far about it in one spot.

As an IT guy at a school with new teachers arriving today, please understand that I will likely lose my damn mind at some point before 1pm PST— please be understanding in this time of trouble.

My new thing to do when people ask me what shows I like is to tell them about my favorite British shows and just watch them lose interest.

“I like this show where comedians and actors you’ve never heard of do math problems and word jumbles. It’s pretty fun.”

“Oh, and this one with three hosts, but two wear prosthetics & one has sort of crab hands and they just sort of chat about the news.”

Do you think people still talk about me on twitter?

Boost = No

To some extent, all social media is performative. Facebook seems to be mostly a performance of happiness. Twitter is maybe performance of frustration or outrage.

I like how Mastodon feels far less performative, with no pressure to be profound.

And how readily we all seem to validate and hand out faves and boosts may be a sign of just how battered those other places have left us.

Oh crap, this is the third time I’ve ordered a bunch of snacks & candy from Instacart and got the same shopper. Better throw her off the scent and order a couple heads of lettuce.

Mastodon's like that rare tavern that you find in a snow storm where the landlord says "Greetings, I have put another log on the fire for you weary traveler, let me fetch you a pot of stew, the first mug of ale is on us".

A lot off new users are asking what an “instance” is. Let me explain.

An instance is like when something happens without delay, like how all you need is hot water or a microwave for instance oatmeal.

Hope that clears things up.

This song is very a very particular kind of aesthetic that always hits me right in the feels.

“Scott Pilgrim v. my GPA” by Mom Jeans.


Posting your nudes on this website is actually stealing valor from pornographers.

Hit that bell, fam.

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