I am incapable of spelling Mastodon correctly the first try
More Star Wars ship names from my random spreadsheet? Let's go.
-Tempest Bard Bantha
-Vortex Blade Duke
-Violent Dagger Queen
Is ARKansas the Augmented Reality version of Kansas?
More ridiculous Star Wars ship names:
-Scandalous Lily Bear
-Dagobah Song Blade
-Endor Tornado Sun
-Obsidian Palace Gundark
-Iridonia Curiosity Songbird
-Kessel Bottle Revenge
I just made an Excel to help me name Star Wars ships and it is coming up with equal parts gold and crap. In other words: total Star Wars.
-Righteous Venture Annihilation
So bad it's good:
Should we get hens for the backyard? y/n
Confession: Sometimes Bon Iver reminds me of Coldplay.
He stares at me, smug. He picks up the skillet. It's so hot his skin sticks to it. He starts screaming for the Secret Service to get me, to stop me. 'cos, you know, I did this to him. Turns out they don't really like him, so they all just sorta stand around looking dumbfounded.
The next day, I'm the subject of a FoxNews piece about the Honey Ham Hitman that took a shot at their idol.
It's fucking back bacon, you idiots.
I just remembered I had a dream where I was searing a side of peameal bacon in a skillet at an outdoor event.
As I'm handling this blazingly hot skillet, Trump approaches, trying to get at the ham. Instinctively, I step in the way. "Careful, that skillet's really hot."
He takes offense. How dare I tell him what to do? He shoves me. I move aside.
Just saw someone refer to Get Out as having a threat that's "over the top and unrealistic".
Fella, it's like 95% realistic with 5% sci-fi brain-swappery thrown in. The movie ain't for you.
Hello all, I know this is unexpected and unusual, but I'd like to announce that I will be hosting the 91st Academy Awards.
Hello everyone, I saw Black Panther finally and it has my brain going and analysing and I think Coogler and co. did an amazing thing.
Finally going to see Black Panther today. Going on the company dime. Yeah!
Everyone, read the tweet thread linked. The Golden Lovers are the best storyline in wrestling and it's gay as heck. I love it.
Indigenous Peoples pretty sure Lady Justice can see just f—ing fine
A Russian athlete from the curling team was removed from the Olympics for doping.
I'mma say that again.
A Russian athlete. From the curling team. Was removed from the Olympics. For doping.
Impossible not to think of the Jews having to identify themselves when leaving the ghettos: Brazilians can only leave their communities after being identified and registered with the Army blockade.
Rio: pobre só sai da favela depois de dar foto e RG ao Exército (In Portuguese)
That thing where a dude (and it's almost always a dude) says, "I respect everyone's opinion". Yeah, but fucking why? Some opinions are absolute dogshit and worthy of derision.