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Dunno who needs to read this, but you matter. You don't suck, and if the voices in your head say you do they're wrong. If the voices outside your head say that, fuck 'em.

Be excellent to yourself.

I was never much of a gamer at all, but always wanted to play Portal. I bought it back in April of 2011 but my hardware wouldnt run it. Awaiting download on a more current machine, and excited that I might finally get to play it after almost a decade!

I saw a carpentry helper tool on Amazon that makes me want to punch people in the face because if you need that tool then you shouldn't be near sharp objects

Did anyone ever figure out why Resident Evil: The Final Chapter was such a horrid piece of shit that threw out and ignored everything and everyone in the previous films?

You just don't know how your night is gonna go, and then you discover bunnybot

Tryna switch browsers; one of them keeps crashing nowadays. Pardon any repeat follows

My wife has been watching lots of videos from a mortician and I'm getting a little nervous

Pt 2: then, realising I was a rock musician, she said, and I quote: "Oh, and you'd probably get along good with her husband Ed... He's a pretty good guitar player... "

Me for the next ten minutes: πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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Just hearing about EVH from you guys. Bummer! But I have a fun story:
My wife was assistant and nanny to LA royalty, and was friends with Valerie Bertinelli Van Halen.. and babysat Wolfgang. She was not privy to that entire heavy metal scene back in the 80s and I was. One day she was telling me about her time hanging out with Valerie and "Wolfie".. .. Part 1/2

My clients are awesome; always giving me presents!... Collards, bananas, kale, weed, avocados, oranges, etc...

Okay, I dont smoke weed, but they dont have to know that...

There's an app that can tell you which of your friends would have joined the Nazi Party in the 1930's. It's called 'Facebook'...

The thing about playing bar and restaurant gigs is that there's lots of young hot women out on their dates or they're looking to meet oneand oh my God I am so going to burn in hell I am going to burn in hell for eternity

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