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BongoBaggins ๐ŸŽง

I've lost a permanent marker. How is that even possible

I tried to get my lady to play last night, hoping to hear her say "It's too hard!" for the first time ever.

But she just said "This is rubbish," and not for the first time ๐Ÿ˜ญ

I've written a poem, chronicling in verse, the story of Ronald Shusset and Dan O'Bannon's screenplay of a murderous alien xenomorph, as brought to life by the incredible Ridley Scott in 1979's Alien.
The opus begins:

Ripley, Dallas, Lambert, Parker,
Ash and Kane and Brett,
Were all aboard the Nostromo,
And then they all got ate.

I thankyou.

When the inventor of the USB stick dies they'll gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again.

Mastodon? Fantastodon more like! Or something.

Please boost.

- Glowing stars. I used to sit here as a child
- And now?

She frowned

- Now space travel isn't a thing. Everyone's in the network. I spend my days there working, porting apps between clusters

She stood up and threw a stone in the water

- Nobody's out here any more. At least the seas are clean
- Yeah. Pity about the military drones. Can't swim in there

She sat down again, looking ahead, three metal plugs visible at the base of her skull

- We screwed up, didn't we?

#writing #flashfiction

Go on, @KevinMagnussen - we dare you...

What. A. Move.

#SingaporeGP #F1NightRace ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ

My Ubuntu 16.04 laptop (been in constant upgrade since 8.04 Hardy Heron, no reinstalls.) wallpaper, with myself and a few friends 8,000 light years from Earth

There's no sweeter sight in than seeing a Ferrari take out another Ferrari. Fuck Ferrari.

Hello Mastodon. I'm getting shit-faced.

Watching a sad story on about a man about to lose his family due to a gambling addiction.

But first, a word from our sponsors, Slingo Boom online bingo

Why are shampoo adverts so insistent that 'strong hair' is something we need?

"You look glum, John. What's up?"
"It's my hair, mate. It can barely lift a small dog."

I tidied up my video. Now it's very professional and not stupid at all

Tech writer: mastodon will never kill twitter

Mastodon users: meh, that's okay, all I ever really wanted was a place where I wouldn't be relentlessly attacked by nazis, ads or nazi ads

Tech writer: and therefore Mastodon sucks and is doomed to perpetual failure

Mastodon users: maybe you want to double-check your metrics of success, bud

Tech writer: dooooooooooooooooomed!