peter jackson: gandolf needs to be huge , and frodo needs to be small. ian please stand near the camera at all times. elijah drink this potion i made in my car

Growing up wealthy is advantageous, but so is growing up knowing to avoid anyone who reminds you of your friend’s fucked up uncle carmine who tried to fist fight the dunk tank barker at the our lady star of the sea fundraising carnival

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I heard billy Joel’s only the good die young for the first time in years yesterday and thought ‘naming the catholic virgin you want to bone Virginia in your song is on the nose, even for you’- turns out he wrote it about his crush, who was actually named Virginia Callahan. Catholics: you can never be more on the nose than them

What I'm worrying about with a photo design: The lighting matching up on all the objects, the colour washes making it all mesh, the fact i had to fake half of the models hair, whether their skin still looks naturalistic, the narrative of the piece.

What my clients worry about: Do the colours pop enough?

politics and the internet in general 

The last few years have made me recognise how much the phrase "talk is cheap" really is true especially around internet politics.

I'm taking the route now of looking to what people actually do, rather than what they say for how i measure up someone.

What you say you are on the internet doesn't help if you don't back that shit up in the real world.

You can shout about how much you hate centrists, but if you don't do anything to affect change politically or vote, then yeah, the centrist is you.

A nightingale sang.
The vampire stopped dead in his tracks, his oblivious prey disappearing in the distance.
A nightingale sang the song nightingales sang centuries ago, and the vampire was young again.
"I hadn't realised," he whispered when silence fell, "how all things change."

Food health weight dead dove do not eat 

I’ve learned to love cooking and eating without hating myself and now I’m afraid that’ll be gone 😭

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Food health weight dead dove do not eat 

And I’ve been wanting to add what intuitive eaters/health at every size advocates call joyful movement into my life this year, but now that a dr is telling me to excercise for my big fat gluttonous heart I don’t know how I’m not going to feel like it’s punishment, just like every other instance of excercise in my life, from gym class where I was tormented to going to the gym with my self loathing fat mom

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Food health weight dead dove do not eat 

Most of the time I just wound up not eating or not eating enough because dealing with calories etc was so upsetting and if less is more none is best, which is how I find myself now at 35 eating an apple with peanut butter for dinner cause the idea of eating anything feels awful but I need to eat something I guess

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Food health weight dead dove do not eat 

After avoiding the dr for years cause all they tell me is that I’m fat, trying to get better acquainted with my body, leave diet culture behind and like, literally just gave myself permission to have snacks when I’m hungry last week, I got high cholesterol results from the PCP I saw with ‘manage with diet and excercise’ and I’m a mess, I don’t want to go back to my days on weight watchers and years & years of worrying about food, how fat & ugly I am etc

"One of the things you're saying that I find really interesting, that I experienced to, is because there are so few queer content creators, especially queer animated showrunners, the studio couldn't recognize a lot of the queer experience being expressed through the content. They could tell me these two characters can't kiss on the mouth, but they couldn't understand that what I was describing about anxiety was really related to my queer experience; The way these characters interacted with each other as individuals was a part of the queer experience. It's something I learned all the way back when I was working on Adventure Time and people began to recognize Marceline as a bisexual individual based on what we had written about her interactions with other people, but also her feelings about herself."

-- Rebecca Sugar

Two houses, both alike in dignity (snacks and treats)

There is a class action lawsuitsettlement of $1850 for those in California who took Premarin between 1995 and 2003:

on sex and kink 

and it means we're always going to have this dichotomy where in any community that has deep trauma, parts of those communities are going to be exploring that discomfort sexually.

But its never a given that this exploration will be done in a safe or trusting way. So each community effectively has to find a way to develop safer versions of these sexual rituals.

How you bring these acts out of the shadow and give them form so that others can thrive through them rather than doing harm to themselves or others.

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on sex and kink 

And thats kind of why i have this love of fetishes / kinks as a subject because when you look at them and the common narratives they inhabit, theyre these really amazing and weird magical story devices that run in a bizarre counterintuitive direction to what you'd expect.

They are our own private magic rituals we engage in, often coming from a deep unconscious that its as if coming against our will (something we performatively engage with).

We reveal the discomfort, share the discomfort with another, admit to the discomfort, take pleasure in the discomfort and feel healed by the process.

And by these steps we shift something of pain into something of strength.

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on sex and kink 

if you ask me, sex at its core is about comfort. Our hormones make us purposefully uncomfortable in order to make us seek out release to that frustration on a conscious and unconscious level. Sexual gratification being that release / comfort.

Fetish / kink is just the logical transposing of that framework of discomfort => sexual comfort onto a different deep discomfort.

It is trying to scratch an itch that can't be reached and realising that sex can get really close. Especially if you engage in performing the discomfort to bring it to the surface.

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