Good evening. We in Canada wish to talk about curling.

We are aware that with phrases like "the button," "hurry hard," and "around the horn," curling sounds vaguely sleazy.

But a) how dare you impugn the name of this most noble sport, and b) we made all those jokes already

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Other phrases we have already made jokes about: "besom," "back-house weight," "chroming the rock," "firm weight vs. peel weight vs. nice weight," "hog line violation," "kizzle kazzle," "lazy handle," "out of stones," "swingy ice," and "the Tournament of Hearts." Get your own

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