planning on fracturing several bones today. need to choose. probably some vertebrae

What would you do with your life if your knew there were no limits? — just keep getting money out of an atm

i don’t know how i would survive a job without sports to talk about

they're not being facetious. they genuinely don't see a difference between a tactile wall in your house and thousand mile fence that has to cross rivers and go through mountains

thanks for posting a screenshot of ur groupchat saying all the same thing so i can feel bad for not being included

i forgot how to horny tweet so everyone is safe now. you no longer need to live in fear

ppl rly just be walkin around w a vagina on them on a daily basis that’s wild

inspiring to see my beard hairs slowly starting to colonize the open space on my face

the most dangerous border city in america is buffalo NY

serial arson is a lot like sex in that it’s very good

what algorithm led to my phone thinking it made sense to offload twitter. it’s like the only app i use

welcome to climate change here are our solutions:

-a society based on something other than “make as much money as possible”
-kill a vast majority of the worlds population, including you

i wanna change my overwatch username but if fkn costs money whay

i’ll be the guinea pig. if they electrocute me that’s a risk i’m willing to take

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just bought knockoff airpods on aliexpress for $10.

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