Comedy is a user on mastodon.social. You can follow them or interact with them if you have an account anywhere in the fediverse. If you don't, you can sign up here.

Comedy @Comedy@mastodon.social

Everyone actually has three voices. One in their head, one they speak with, and one everyone else hears.

the reason adults are not scared of monsters under the bed is because they are hoping it will eat them before work

Before food allergies were discovered, tons of innocent people were probably accused of poisoning the victim's food.

Fathers only get a day, but sharks get a whole week.

It is really arrogant for humans to believe that we only could have been created by a perfect and omnipotent being.

You think you are unique and creative until you are faced with the task of creating a username.

Happy Father’s Day to all the men who had to raise themselves..

Happy Father's Day to all the children with shit dads who survived. This day you can hold your head high knowing you learned what not to do!

Dogs literally wanna eat pussy and fuck bitches.

On the last day of 2017, the final people born in the 90’s became adults. There are no more 90’s kids

You can help future generations in a zombie apocalypse by getting your remains cremated.

Shoutout to all the dads grilling in their own honor this Father’s Day.

Once you know the wilhelm scream you start hearing it everywhere.

If Earth was flat, the edge would be one of the biggest tourist attractions ever.

The degree you are awarded at the end of university is basically a proof of purchase receipt for an expensive education.

Slang is just slang for short language.

Pretending to be sober in public is like doing your best impression of yourself.

Kinda funny that Darth Vader's signature ability is to choke people, yet he needs a suit to breathe properly himself.

We shouldn't fear an AI which can pass the Turing Test but rather one which intentionally fails it.