Comedy @Comedy@mastodon.social

Unless you do your laundry naked, your clothes are never all clean at the same time
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In the eyes of dogs, humans are giants who live 500+ years.
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For a universe as advanced as Star Wars, you'd think that they'd have fully remote controlled fighter spacecraft by now
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Alcohol is the ultimate gateway drug: it lowers your inhibitions and is easily accessible.
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Enemies in stealth games probably ignore you on purpose because they know if they spot you, you'll kill them all.
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Anyone remember that part in 2016 when clowns would chase and knife people in the streets and noone did anything about it
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Whoever came up with the term "Screwing" must have been terrible at the sex
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You've probably broken tons of obscure world records you had no idea you broke
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No one has ever been in an empty room.
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Getting a virus on your pc through watching porn, is just like an STD for your pc
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You don't realise how many cars drive past your house untill you're expecting an important package.
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In a few years people will look back on Superhero Movies the way we look back on Westerns now.
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Men know what men want, women know what men want, men don't know what women want,women also don't know what women want but in the end women always get what they want.
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Wondered if Googling too often instead of thinking about the answer causes the mind to stagnate, so Googled for an answer.
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If a crystal meth dealer has all his teeth then its a cop.
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Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs
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You use your best underwear when someone else is gonna take it off
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A "perfect circle" is just a circle. Anythingn less than a "perfect circle" is an ellipse or an oval.
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“Inside out” and “outside in” are grammatically opposite, but literally the same.
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2018. The century is currently in its teen years. Which might explain why everyone is so edgy and sensitive about everything.
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