It's good that git has a commit function, cause my code is a crime

@Johann150@genau.qwertqwefsday.eu @hbenjamin@mstdn.social

TFTP - Trivial Fox Transfer Protocol

1. Pick up fox
2. Throw fox to destination

@hbenjamin@mstdn.social

FTPS - Fox Transfer Protocol (Secure):

1. Take a soft, comfy pillow and a blanket
2. Carefully pick up fox
3. Hold fox gentle like hamborgar
4. Go to destinyation
5. Put down pillow
6. Put fox on pillow
7. Pet
8. Cover fox with blanket to ensure maximum comf

Gargron's Navy SEALs have surrounded me, their m16's aimed at my face.

"Good game, chaps" I mutter, "but have you ever heard of an ass corset?"

They give me a quizzical look, staring down the barrel of their guns.

I show them what I mean: I unlatch the corset; suddenly the beautiful folds of my enormous ass shoot forth, knocking the SEAL behind me off his feet.

I proceed to spin wildly in a T-pose, my ass following my motion like a combination tail/medieval chain mace, sweeping the SEALs off their feet.

"Better luck, next time, imperialist cucks" I say, lighting a clove cigarette and blasting into the atmosphere with a strong gust of flatulence.

I can only use ffmpeg because I happen to have the right commands in my shell history and I hope I won't ever lose it :blobfoxsweating:

i am very interested in computers, which is why none of my computers work

If I want to show a #Mastodon thread to a friend who has no Mastodon account, I can hand them a URL for the first toot in the thread.

But if the thread is long enough, the friend won’t see the whole thread and will have to hunt for "Show newer" and "Show older".

If there were a magic arg telling the server to send the whole thread, finding out about it would make me very happy right now.

Please boost!

I turn on my PC.

The local wildlife are immediately sterilised by the excessive output from my four exposed nuclear reactors running at a critically risky heat output.

The sound of 10,000 cooling fans deafens the city’s morning traffic as my warehouse of 500 parallel-chained AMD Razer Threadrippers bursts into life, forming the equivalent processing power of 2015 in one room.

Nearby, my cluster of Nvidia 5090 Test Cards begins to warp the local time continuum as they calculate answers man was never meant to know.

Very gently, I open Microsoft Teams.

Instantly, the already deafening noise of fans increases to a murderous wail as they try to keep my equipment at operating temperatures. A nuclear reactors’ fusion catches up with its cooling and explodes destroying the lives of millions. The floor begins to melt away as my processors over clocked ten-fold reach critical mass and descend directly into hell. My Nvidia cluster collapses into a singularity and begins to devour the planet.

Quickly now, I open a text chat, it’s a bit laggy.

The sheer struggle of loading some text destroys the remaining systems. Me and my equipment are deleted from reality by an unknown overseer.

Humanity is not ready for instant messaging

"Why half ass two things when you can whole ass one thing" is a myth.

"Why half ass infinite things when you can whole ass zero things" is more accurate.

Show thread

carcinogenic? you’re saying this thing will turn me into a crab?

I don't have a "grasp on reality" reality has a grasp on me and I wish it'd let me go

if i were to brute force a cryptographic challenge i would simply guess correctly on the first try, thus saving time and energy

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