I just realized I've been writing logic for the past half hour that uses the relative priority of the two components of a combination I've called a "unit" to establish an absolute priority for the unit.

An absolute unit priority.

... Did you do this on purpose, brain? I'm not naming a variable "fuckenWeapon", the client will be looking at this code.

I think I'll turn off cross posting.

I should probably re-draft that thread from Twitter with a "mental health" CW, but I don't have the spoons to do so.

From birbsite 

Okay. I'm going to call the mental health spam here. Maybe pouring a bit of it out there will help with making it all stop being in here quite so much.

From birbsite 

2 and 3 together explain a very large number of things about the last 15 years, let me tell you.

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From birbsite 

3. I also have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and overloading my brain's limited integration capacity unleashes that fucker hardcode

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From birbsite 

2. The reason I never found this out (in addition to our culture being absolutely shit at teaching us about neurodivergences) is because I can work through my ADD on very long complex boring things. It's just that doing so sends me into a torturous version of a depressive episode

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From birbsite 

BUT, I did learn some things from this episode.

1. I absolutely have ADD in addition to autism.

(Side note, this means I've gotten a Master's - in a healthcare field no less - WHILE working full time without ever finding this out)

From birbsite 

(the word my brain was looking for when it came up with "reverse afterglow" is "hangover", but the former is so perfect considering how fucked I feel right now, I'm keeping it)

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From birbsite 

So, unfortunately I'm not quite done with this brain bullshit.

Thankfully, it's less "want to claw out my own brain" now and more a shitty reverse afterglow where I need to be careful not to be around too many people or too loud sounds or too bright lights

From birbsite 

What "neurodivergence" sounds like it is: somehow grittier spin-off of X-Men

What "neurodivergence" actually is: Feeling simultaneously relieved you skipped a social gathering for self care and guilty because the social gathering is supposed to work like self care (it does not)

From birbsite 

My brain may be poop, but at least I've sort of figured a few of its buttons out.

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From birbsite 

It's been a while since I've had such a severe episode of whatever that was, but thankfully the usual stuff still works - freshly roasted coffee, extensive napping, a game that's not too demanding but is absorbing that I shift my attention onto.

From birbsite 

*checks own tweets*

Yeah, I need coffee, like, stat

From birbsite 

It's like the shittiest trap card. "I see you unexpectedly overworked yourself a bit. HERE ARE SEVENTEEN HOURS OF HORRIFIC THOUGHTS."

Does my birth certificate count as a receipt for my brain? Asking for a me.

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From birbsite 

I'm not sure if I hate the constant low grade background self loathing more, or if it's when it suddenly ramps up because I got a little too tired reading a bit too much fucking code

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From birbsite 

LRT: Helluva thing to open Twitter on first thing in the morning on the tail end of a depression flare up (please let it be the fucking tail end)

From birbsite 

RT @percahlia@twitter.com
me @ myself every time i get worked up over something miniscule

From birbsite 

Chancellor Croissant and Packet of Almonds
---
Your Klingon dignitary name is the word "Chancellor" and the last thing you purchased.

Quote tweet with your names.
twitter.com/TrekCaptions/statu

There. 55% quota. There's literally 3GB of space. Not even our clients can fill that up in a week

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