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if you want me to follow back you'll have to impress me with your feats

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when you think about it a bris is a gender reveal party to God

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holding my baby's foreskin up to God so he can sniff it and get its smell like a golden retriever

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crept into the maternity ward and put tape over all the baby's mouths. took pictures and made a meme that said "THIS is cancel culture!". it got 3 likes

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Wish I was in ancient Greece, with the fellas, getting mad dome and yards of dick down at the local bathhouse

*motivational speaker voice* i'm here today to talk to you about turning your total organ FAILURES into total organ SUCCESSES

there is no society-wide "protecting children" anymore in the age of the internet. its 100% on the parents to make sure their kid aint seeing shit they aint wanna see. fuck you for telling me these shorts are too small

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hot take but children are exposed to hypersexuality every single day so its objectively good to expose them to queer hypersexuality

"but what of the children" you cry as i twerk on the parade float. rainbow glitter shakes off my ass. all the children looking at me are cool as hell now

fully nude, tossing used dildos off of my parade float at pride. a child catches one and looks up at me with wonder in their eyes. "one day i'm gonna be a faggot like that" they say

my precious son Ratbert saw a leather daddy at Pride and now wants me to take him to the BDSM club

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(extremely roman voice) ah, the uxor found my pornographic scrolls... back to the doghouse (second, tiny colosseum next to the small colosseum i live in) i go

my autistic special interest is being fucking sexyyyyy

holding my baby's foreskin up to God so he can sniff it and get its smell like a golden retriever

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when you think about it a bris is a gender reveal party to God

at my wedding we're gonna do a duo hamboning routine instead of vows

creating an entire social media network out of only my tulpas

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hey quick trivia question just cus i've been thinking about it for a few days: what were Queen the champions *of*?

did they ever get that little boy out of that balloon

i'd kill a hippo easily. wouldn't be that hard. humans have guns

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