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Pouring kibble into the little bowls at airport security to feed the X-ray machines

sometimes I just want to *cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise**cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise**cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise**cash register noise* and be banned from the supermarket for opening all the tills

i have no idea why but i get disproportionately happy when healyn boosts my toots

MIT stands for Mastodon Instance of Techbros

Hell yeah I like pop tarts

Porcelain
Owls
Preening
Their
Asses
Right
Through
Saturday!

I don’t understand why so many people consider Plato a fun toy. Dude tastes like shit.

I know a lot of you have cats, and I think that’s great and that your cats are wonderful. But I’m afraid I can’t keep living my life without breaking the news to you that as great as your cat may be, they will never reach the top of the mountain. For there sits the queen. And she is eternal.

Me, thinking: maybe it's time to stop shitposting so much. It's fun, but what do i really get out of it? i'm sure i can figure out a way to stay involved in the community here without relying on terrible posts all the time

Me, posting: i feel slimy and i want spaghetti

[Writing the perfect young adult teen sci-fi novel series, the sci-fi Harry Potter. It will have 10 volumes and 20 movies and will make me the worlds first trillionaire]

Me: Barry Pogger

Yes I name all my characters Entry Incomplete because that's the default. Yes I'm aware it's not funny

being mean to me is fascism; being mean to people i don't like is praxis

Look Eugen boosted my cat picture and the "please ma'am may I please have some LAMP" photo so I guess you can say I'm pretty well known around here

i played too much "the sims" and now my junk gets pixelated when i go potty in real life!!

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