There is a small shop near my local beach called the Salt Water Taffy Shop and that's all they sell. They're terrible. Locals know that the good salt water taffy is at the kite store, where they let you mix and match flavors instead of buying premeasured bags of just one flavor.

Giving up soda is the fastest way to lose weight. Drink more water.

I am at the dentist and I am listening to some guy dispense medical advice to the receptionist. He's been at it for twenty minutes so far. He has very very bad advice. He is trying to find a way to put camomile into his ears to fight the self diagnosed fungal infection that several doctors have told him isn't real.

My older brother has a weird habit that I think is kind of cute. He's done it since he was a kid. If you're telling him a story, and he's really engaged with it, he will insert sound effects for you. I was describing how I dramatically dropped something and made a mess and he did this "whoosh boom" sound effect with his mouth as I'm telling it and I thought "aww. you still do that". I don't mind. I think it's sweet.

Hot Tech Take From Your Ol Pal FartHog69 Show more

Computer, show me the most neoliberal headline ever created:

(Good Morning)

food Show more

@FartHog69 the Diaper Industrial Complex will stop at nothing.

Disheartening to open today's paper and see that big diaper is still keeping secrets from men.

That Adam Sandler song about Christ Farley sucks. The internet is full of people saying it made them cry and shit but it was terrible. It was sappy, it didn't really offer insight into Chris from the perspective of one of his friends and it seemed like it was more of a tribute to Chris Farley fans than to Chris. The constant name dropping made me cringe, the part where he just lists famous SNL skits was embarrassing. The rhymes are so simplistic I guessed the second couplet every time. Bad song.

Once there was a man who stood around in a gorilla suit and he was the very best at it. They put him in a movie where he stood around in a gorilla suit and said nothing and the world loved him. The movie was the most successful film in the world. People couldn't get enough of gorilla suit man. They made toys and books about him and sequel after sequel until he was too old and sick to stand around saying nothing anymore. When he died, it dominated the news cycle. People wept & called him an icon.

Someone just told me about the time someone left them a two for one coupon for Applebee's as a tip. That is the worst tip. I would rather have no tip.

Definitely someone's sarcastic retort to "home is where your heart is"

Rankings
1-In n Out
2-Five Guys
3-Whataburger
4-Wendy's
5-McDonalds
6-Sonic
7-Carls Jr
8-Jack in the Box
9-Burger King

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