I've been wanting for a while to set up in some story a ludicrously fragile street. I don't know how exactly it'd tie into anything but I really wanna write it

🙋Excuse me, can you show me the way to the library?
🧙‍♀️Sure, I'm actually on my way there now! Just walk this way!
🙋Oh, thankyou!
🧙‍♀️No trouble at all! Oh, hang on a sec - you need a hand there Jim? Changing a wheel on the cabbage wagon I see
:welp: Nah I'm good, so long as this jack holds
🧙‍♀️Okay, be careful, it's a real steep hill. Alright my friend, right this way...

🧙‍♀️You new in town, huh?
🙋I just arrived!
🧙‍♀️Well, this is a great little collection of shops on the high street here. There's Patricia's Pointy Plants, she specializes in cacti but she's doing a special right now on rosebushes and brambles.
🙋That's... specialized!
🧙‍♀️Sure is! And here - whoops, mind those lads carrying the stained-glass window, they've been restoring that thing for like eleven months now - here's mister Jones the vet. Oh, hey Tony!
🤕Hey

🧙‍♀️Good lord Tony what happened to you?
🤕Poor Sasha here broke a tooth, she's really out of sorts as you can see.
🧙‍♀️Yes I see that, that carrier's really violently thrashing around huh. Poor Sasha, she's normally such a well-behaved skunk.
🤕Well she's really pissed off right now, I'm just taking her in to see doc Jones.
🙋uh... has she bitten you, dude? Your belt's all, kinda...
🤕Oh, thank you, I didn't even notice that. Wow, my pants are being held up by a THREAD huh
🧙‍♀️Good luck Tony

🧙‍♀️Poor Sasha. Anyway, the library's this way - we're just passing the fireworks shop here on the left, and over the road to the right is the best restaurant in town, Big Jim's - oh hi Jim! You getting a delivery?
👨‍🍳Yeah, this here's the special stuff. One pinch of this gives the soup a nice kick.
🙋One pinch, huh?
👨‍🍳Yeah, one pinch. NO MORE. Gotta be judicious with the stuff. HEY YOUSE GUYS BE CAREFUL DAMNIT, YOU DON'T WANNA BREATHE THIS STUFF IN
🧙‍♀️It isn't dangerous, is it Jim?

👨‍🍳Nah it ain't gonna kill you or nothing but there's a real fine line between a nice tongue tingle and a night of explosive diarrhoea
🙋Goodness
🧙‍♀️That's a 55-gallon drum, right?
👨‍🍳Two of 'em, I'm stocking up for the year. Just gotta hold it real steady while I get the cellar door open.
🧙‍♀️Well we'll leave you to it and not distract you further
👨‍🍳preciateit

🧙‍♀️Anyway the library's just past the hardware store - see Mags up on the ladder there?
🙋Repainting the sign?
👩‍🎨Staining actually!
🧙‍♀️Let's just walk around her ladder and give her a wide berth - wouldn't wanna get dripped on.
👩‍🎨Good call, this stuff never comes out. Oh, mind the unicycling juggler, he's going for a world record

🧙‍♀️Here's the local pachinko parlour - on no, someone's spilled all their pachinko balls outside!
👩‍🎤I see them, I was just having a smoke before I pick them up. Wouldn't want anyone to slip on them.
🙋I don't believe I've ever seen a pachinko parlour before.
👩‍🎤It's a niche thing, I'll admit. I just like having a bunch of 11mm steel ball bearings around the place, and I run the magnet shop next door and the glazier's across the street so it seemed like a logical progression.
🙋uh

🧙‍♀️Well, here we are at the library! They're just having a million dollars' worth of extremely rare one-of-a-kind manuscripts delivered, so
🙋Holy shit
🧙‍♀️Yeah so watch out for the dust
🙋 ?
🧙‍♀️You wouldn't want to
🧙‍♀️SNEEZE
🧙‍♀️just in case
🧙‍♀️SOMETHING
🧙‍♀️were to HAPPEN

Can I make this into a lewd story? Someone struggling not to sneeze because they're on a street that's one sudden motion away from absolute pandemonium has to be SOMEONE's fetish, right?

Follow

🧙‍♀️Hey librarian Jennifer, whatcha doing up on that stepladder with that staplegun?
👩‍💻Oh, I'm just putting up this health-and-safety poster.
🧙‍♀️Fair enough. Oh no, I dropped my library card!
🙋Hm
🧙‍♀️Let me just
🙋Yup
🧙‍♀️Bend down and

· · SubwayTooter · 1 · 0 · 0

I looked it up and yup sneezing erotica is a thing, I'm not sure whether "total chaos caused by sneezing" erotica is a thing though.

Perhaps it should be?

🧙‍♀️Anyway Jennifer my friend here needs a library card, can you help?
👩‍💻Sure just fill out this form!
🙋Is that... an inkwell and quill?
👩‍💻Yes, we're old-school here.
🙋"Inkwell" isn't really the word though, that's a VASE of ink
👩‍💻Yes, we keep it next to the first editions, classier that way
🙋Really tall vase
🙋and very narrow
👩‍💻Where did I put that staple gun

🧙‍♀️Hey that's a terrible place to put that inkvase Jennifer
👩‍💻Do you think so?
🧙‍♀️Yes, it'd be more impressive if it were up on a higher shelf - like maybe that one there by the children's area.
👩‍💻Hm, you're right
🧙‍♀️Hey,
🙋yes
🧙‍♀️you're tall
🙋 :(

🙋This is treacherous
👩‍💻Yes story time this morning was about a cat who roller skates
👩‍💻So naturally we brought in lots of roller skates
👩‍💻And cats

🧙‍♀️That looks great up there, well done!
👩‍💻 👏
🙋😐

🙋Lotta deliveries happening today
🧙‍♀️Yes, there's the flour coming in for the bakery, and there's the big drums of vegetable oil for the diner, and whup the flour guys are unloading big barrels of really sticky looking honey now
🙋
🧙‍♀️and here are the bees to go with them
🙋why do all the delivery trucks only have three wheels
🧙‍♀️round here we think the Robin Reliant was the best car ever invented tyvm

@Featherwatt

Gives me the same vibe that I get from A Town Called Panic (the series and especially the movie). I like it.

@Featherwatt

IIRC when first described, that is when the erotic concept first exists, and that makes you its creator. welcome to that club

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