A conversation with friends reminded me of the very funny NSFW short film "A Heap of Trouble" and I'm not gonna pass up an opportunity to post that again, enjoy:

vimeo.com/117672124

More horny Dvorak silliness 

@Featherwatt I quite like "Oh that ass on toast tho"

So apparently I'm working with @ifixcoinops to create a website that will teach horny people to touch-type, and this means thinking of silly and horny sentences that can be typed with very few letters, without moving your hands at all on a Dvorak keyboard.

So far my favorite is "Ethans ass has a hat"

erotic poetry written using only the dvorak home row 

@ifixcoinops oh so you think you're good enough for punctuation now huh

erotic poetry written using only the dvorak home row 

@ifixcoinops on the outside
Not haunted on the inside

erotic poetry written using only the dvorak home row 

@ifixcoinops

THE HAUNTED TITS

These tits she said
These tanned toned tits
THESE tuned tanned sainted and stunnin titties
Haunted

The end

erotic poetry written using only the dvorak home row 

@ifixcoinops

SATANS TONED ASS
HIS SAINTED TAINT
STUNNED ON THE INSIDE
THE HAUNTED TITS

erotic poetry written using only the dvorak home row 

@ifixcoinops ahhhh haha oh no

I think this is mostly useful for titles:

TOOTH IN THE ASS
DINE ON THESE TITS
TEN NUDE NUNS AND ONE NOTED STUDENT
THE ASS STATION
HOT NINTENDO DATE
THE ANUS AND US
SANDI DONT EAT THAT STAINED DONUT

erotic poetry written using only the dvorak home row 

@ifixcoinops dont sad Dan
It is not shit
It soothes

erotic poetry written using only the dvorak home row 

@ifixcoinops IT IS INDEED SHIT

erotic poetry written using only the dvorak home row 

@ifixcoinops TEN NUDE DADS DAN
I SAID NINE
THIS IS SHIT DAN

erotic poetry written using only the dvorak home row 

Hand a tissue as he has shot his seed
Oh no
She has sat in it

erotic poetry written using only the dvorak home row 

@ifixcoinops I said NINE nude dads NOT TEN

erotic poetry written using only the dvorak home row 

@SigmaOne @ifixcoinops
This
This dad
This hot dad
This hot dad
This hot dads a dud
This hot dads a dud
This hot dads a dud and not a tit tanned stud

erotic poetry written using only the dvorak home row 

@ifixcoinops THE HOT DAD, by Phoenix Baker

oh that dad
that hot hot dad
his hot dad nudes
his hot dad attitude
she is het
he is not
she is in heat
he is tented
she is south on his dadness
he is sated
she is not
so she hit his shin
this is not on she said
this hot dad is a dud

There are already so many butts on the internet that if you made it your full-time 9 to 5 job to look at all the butts, one butt every second, 5 days a week and maybe a couple hours of overtime near the holidays for extra present money, you would die before you'd seen them all.

In fact, the rate of buttposting is increasing all the time - by the time you die, there may even be more new-to-you butts online than when you started. It's an unending task.

And yet people look at Twitter.

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And when regular people butt photos aren't enough, you can draw a butt, paint a butt, 3D model a butt, the butt of a ghost or a mermaid or a werewolf or a dragon or a robot.

Now the real world and its pesky sensible biology or so-called laws of physics aren't in the way, the already overwhelming diversity of butts extends into another dimension and increases exponentially, and there are dozens more by now. More butts, and more types of butt, than you can imagine.

Show thread

Right now someone's taking a picture of their butt and posting it online.

In the time it takes you to read this sentence, someone's taken a picture of a friend, colleague or loved one's butt, and (consensually ofc) posted that online too.

There's every kind of butt on the internet. Any shape, any size, any gender, any ethnicity, any age, all of it, variety unlimited.

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