Pinned toot

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American Gladiators but everyone's wearing strap-on dildos.

Shitting with the stall door open to establish dominance in my office.

*On MTV'S "TrueLife"*

[ME]: *intimate close-up, my face absolutely slathered in cum* "you think you know...but you have no idea."

"Who'll do the unpleasant work?"


Right now, hard labor is performed by a small group.

Should they strike, there are unemployed workers willing to step in.

If we shared this burden, no one would be stuck in these shitty jobs.

And no one would go without.


Also don't forget to follow the new BOFA account @ferretsyndicate

In solidarity, we're leaving dot social.


[ME]: *slices three waterjugs in half w/ my samurai blade then sheaths it* "...well, I'd say this has been a pretty good first date, don't you?"

[HER]: "...I'm gonna go."

Follow my new account @ferretsyndicate or they don't get dinner. Boost and they get treats.

*"Closer" by Nine Inch Nails playing*

[ME]: *looking at 6ft party submarine sandwich, lipsynching* "i wanna fuck u like an animal."

Boost me to help me find my old followers.

200th follower gets a cum tribute as per usual.

I'm moving to

Follow or your dead to me.

the world meteorological organization still refusing to name a hurricane 'horrowfide' in spite of my many email communications.

What happens if we miss our chance?

When society becomes unbearable, revolt becomes palpable.

And, if this unrest isn't seized, a demagogue will take action.

Usually redirecting class anger towards nationalism or racism.

"Behind every fascism, there is a failed revolution."

*rapping in a Sesame Street cadence*

"Ferret's my name,
And cum is my game!"

*kicking over a kid's sand castle* "now if this had been ur property instead of a publicly-owned beach, this wouldn't have happened."

Carving a penis into a public bench so my descendants will have something to remember me by.

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