Please don't demand content warnings from strangers. Content warnings are a sort of social contract between an author and their followers; if you are not happy with how someone chooses to use them, do not follow that person or outright mute them, or mute words.
One of the most alienating experiences on Mastodon I've observed is when someone posts about something they're passionate about or is part of their identity and the first response is "please cw that" from a complete stranger.
@Gargron ok, I like you, even if you did not retoot my dog
@Gargron I totally understand where you're coming from. However, given that we have local timelines, (some of which are really fun to read!) I can totally understand people asking others to make them a better place.
As always, it's obviously also about manners and timing. :-)
@Gargron while I think that it's perfectly fine to ask for CW's (within reason) it is certainly unacceptable to butt into someone's passion like that. I totally agree that muting/unfollowing sometimes is the better option. This comes from a person who needs CWs.
@allo yeah I totally agree! that's exactly what I was trying to say, sorry if it didn't come across clearly enough, I'm a bit tired
@Gargron This request feels like a basic change in mastodon social norms. My understanding (and what I've observed) is that it's fine to make polite requests, and let people know that their topic can be heavy for some people. It's not okay to get pissy if they say no, but it's okay to ask.
How else will we all learn how to take care of each other? We need to let each other know what we need.
@cypnk @jakobpunkt @Gargron one thing to remember is that in our current society, and in Mastodon specifically, many people have been traumatized and are trying to recover or support each other. So on one hand you're totally right, but on the other hand you can't really ask a person who's been stabbed to calm down, ya know? They're not focused on politeness, they're focused on surviving an onslaught.
This sort of context mismatch is very common on twitter and seems to happen here too.
@cypnk @jakobpunkt @Gargron the #1 piece of advice I can give someone in your shoes is, when someone's yelling at you, take a beat to sympathetically figure out why they might be yelling. Could be you're standing on their foot. Could be they're off their rocker and ya need to block them. We're all in a big room shouting into the void, hard to know what's going on without checking first.
I'd imagine that some of this can be a tone issue too.
If someone sent me a DM that asked nicely if I would , as a favor to them, CW some topic because they'd like to follow me but won't be able to because that topic bothers them, then I'd be really happy they did. (I might agree or disagree, depending on the topic) In fact, I'd much prefer they send that DM than that they unfollow me without explanation!
But that's very different from a public "CW please!" toot.
@Tesshutchy If you want to learn the rules of your instance, go to /about/more
Specifically mentions tagging porn/nudity and violence/gore
From what I've seen on the fediverse, it is also customary to cw politics, rants, mental heath topics, and stuff you might think upsets people.
Translation: You're doing a great job. Thanks.
@Gargron Totally agree with you here!
On Todon.nl there are some basic rules about content warnings/sensitive media (https://wiki.todon.nl/todon/terms_en#content_warnings_and_sensitive_images), but the most things are something people must learn from trial-and-error.
@Gargron I’d have thought that just muting someone, rather than giving them an opportunity to reconsider how they post, is pretty alienating.
In most instances I’d expect that when people don’t CW something sensitive, it’s because they’re innocently unaware of the impact on others. If it was me, I’d welcome some constructive feedback so I could learn from it & make my posts more inclusive.
Putting something behind a CW harms no one- people aren’t being asked to not post, just to give a heads up
@gargron this strikes me as myopic and falsely decisive.
There is not a binary decision between "demand CWs without explanation" and " unfollow/mute". It's possible to ask politely; to gently suggest; to model.
Yes, they are part of the agreement between author and audience, but that agreement is negotiable.
It seems like you just don't like CWs, based on this and your comments on several related PRs...
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@gargron ... If so, why? They strike me as one of the most important features of the platform, obviously aside from federation.
CWs and image hiding are very important to pretty much everyone I've gotten to join. They're the killer feature for many end users, not the decentralized nature.
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@tindall @Gargron these important features that are so core... I imagine all those reasons are why they were put into the platform. Eugen and other devs clearly see merits there (I've read as much in interviews)
The only case I'd make (and what I read from orig toot), CW requests should be done respectfully and not as a demand and ideally after some connection has been established
I think we all agree there is nuance here, but also def see validity of OP based on what I've encountered
@tindall @Gargron the idea is that you don't get to decide how someone else gets to express themselves about things they are passionate about. People project hurtful intentions a lot where none exist, and it doesn't seem very fair to lump guilt into the laps of someone who was thought they were just sharing something they were passionate about. You're free to ask for it, but then you'd have to choose your words in your requests extremely carefully as well, n'es pas?
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