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Looks like the pgBouncer was actually maxed out, but the settings weren't adjusted for the beefiness of the DB server so I did that and it seems everything's back to normal

<p><span class="h-card"><a href="https://mastodon.social/@Gargron">@<span>Gargron</span></a></span> What did you do exactly? Switched to session mode? Minimised the pool?</p>
Eugen @Gargron

@wonderfall No no session mode is the opposite of what you want to do with pgBouncer. I just upped max connections in pgBouncer and the default pool size and that's done it

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<p><span class="h-card"><a href="https://mastodon.social/@Gargron">@<span>Gargron</span></a></span> Yes I meant transaction, the opposite... I also increased max connections, and set the pool size to a reasonable value (20), but with transaction mode it's very light on the PGSQL and I felt it.</p>
<p><span class="h-card"><a href="https://mastodon.social/@Gargron">@<span>Gargron</span></a></span> I meant 100, not 20. Should sleep more...</p>

@wonderfall I don't have any science behind the numbers, it's just "try until it works well"