I don't like it here anymore. I feel like I should leave.

i wonder how many of the people who are like "2% fatal isn't bad enough to justify crashing the stock market" are the exact same people who used to howl about obama's "death panels"

You can only play it for like an hour at a time or you'll feel queasy but it's very fun

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pagliacci: honestly there's nothing i can do about your depression. tbh i don't even know why you came to see me, i am but a humble clown, you really should go see a medical professional.

doctor: but pagliacci...

Just listened to an exasperated person trying to explain to their dad that colloidal silver has not made them immune to Corona and that they still need to stay out of public spaces

The only worthwhile phone feature to come out in the past five years is the wide angle lens on the cameras. That's pretty good. Everything else is useless trash.

Spoiler for Battle Angel Alita 

Unless you're making Old Yeller or something, where the whole point is that the dog dies, just don't kill off the dog. Nobody ever likes that.

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Spoiler for Battle Angel Alita 

I would have liked Battle Angel Alita a lot more if they didn't kill off that dog for no reason.

Saw a show called something like World's 50 Deadliest and its just a countdown of deadly animals, but they clearly ran out of deadly animals before they hit 50. Theres a wonderful segment where a bewildered Anteater expert is trying v hard to emphasize that they're harmless while voiceover is trying to make you shit your pants

"It has claws but these are only for burrowing. They do not use them to attack"

"BUT IF THEY DID, THEYD LEAVE SIX INCH GASHES AND COULD PIERCE AS DEEP AS STEAK KNIVES"

The professor informs the class that they can only pass if they can bring in pictures of a porn stars feet. Cut to him and his buddies chugging energy drinks and eating pizza as they stay up all night to beg porn stars for feet pics on Twitter.

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Graduation ceremony. He walks across the stage, shakes hands, and receives his sunglasses and baseball hat which he puts on, before getting into a car and taking a downward angle selfie. He gets out of the car and leaves the stage into the arms of his parents who are crying with joy.

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Two parents overjoyed that their son has been accepted to "The School of Hard Knocks" to study "Life"

Montage: the kid is in a lecture hall where the professor is writing out a complicated math equation that equals "two genders". He jots this down on a notepad and underlines it.

He's outside, hard at work on his thesis. He jots down "I identify as" then stops to think. He seems flummoxed until he notices a helicopter flying by. Then he smiles a knowing smile.

I watch old game shows for fun. They'll have like Frank Lloyd Wright on as a guest or someone who witnessed the Lincoln assassination. It's wild. There's an episode of What's My Line with the actual Colonel Sanders and he looks and is dressed exactly like you're picturing. They have no idea who he is. They think maybe he makes cereal or something. It's incredible.

First you razzle em ("did you just assume my gender?")

Then you dazzle em ("Well I identify as an attack helicopter!")

Richard Dawkins 

Like, how did he think that was going to go?

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Richard Dawkins 

I love the idea of casually dropping "you know, there's no reason eugenics wouldn't work" into a conversation at a dinner party, apropos of nothing, and then acting mystified and persecuted when everyone turns on me.

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