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You've been sent to catch a fugitive from justice, a man accused of murdering his wife in cold blood. He has been on the run for 90 minutes. Average foot speed over uneven ground, barring injury, is 4 miles an hour which gives us a radius of 6 miles. Where do you check first?

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I want to see my friends. I'm lonely.

— Zasit Sodelastis, broker

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And in a weird turn, US Soccer reveals that they are indeed the sexists we all know they are as the actually filed court documents saying the women's game isn't as hard as the men's game, so they shouldn't be paid equally.

Fuck the fact 1. men don't compete against women, so that point is irrelevant and 2. there aren't as many tournaments for women to compete in, which is a facile argument.

They literally just confirmed they're blatantly discriminating.

wrcbtv.com/story/41882513/us-s

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USPOL, #LGBTQforum 

Watching the #LGBTQforum via GLAAD’s twitter tonight.

Marianne Williamson had a couple rough moments but Joe Sestak here is going on the farthest tangent in response to what he’s doing for LGBTQ+ people if elected president in the first 100 days.

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Five minutes between the murder and the arrestǃ Think about itǃ You could make pasta in that amount of timeǃ If you like it al denteǃ

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do you feel less firm "down there"? Are you lacking scrotal support? L'Oreal Testicular Treatment targets the 25 signs of aging in the sack

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If you want to piss off your lame boss, try this easy trick: 

Unionize!

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Well, having never used that app before it successfully threaded but didn’t CW everything. Sorry, y’all

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No *you* downloaded GIMP to your work PC to make a poorly edited cover to your fake book

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Chapter 1: What is a potato?
Chapter 2: History of the potato
Chapter 3: Explanation of how unspecified “toxins” are the source of all your problems
Chapter 4: Potatoes remove toxins, but “they” don’t want you to know
Chapter 5: Explanation of your brain chemistry
Chapter 6: Why fried potatoes help your neurons get longer and stronger
Chapter 7: Further implication that this is an ancient secret that “they” are keeping from you
Chapter 8: Potato recipes

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My new book, The Potato Secret is gonna be coming out in 6 months. Learn how the natural wicking properties of the humble potato can remove toxins from your body and help you to live your best life

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This book would sell if only because people want an excuse to eat French fries and say they’re healthy

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“Take a cup of water and add a drop of blue food coloring. Now slice a potato into quarters and drop a piece into the cup. Come back the next day and you will see the potato has begun to remove the toxin (the coloring) from the water.”

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