Vee @JustVeeYourself@mastodon.social

I want your 🐿 in my 🍑

Here is the church ⛪️
Here is the steeple 🗼
Here is where we burn it all down and treat everyone like people 🔥

Works spelled backwards is skrow.
This has absolutely no bearing on your life.

My phone has started auto correcting "coffee" to "vodka"

The only one holding you back is yourself

Destroy anyone who may hold you back

You shouldn't choose your beliefs based on your religion, rather, you should choose your religion based on your beliefs

I learned the word "ungulate" from Gary Larson

Watching your boyfriend play video games is like being a golf caddy.
I said what I said.

Men are only good for sex, I can get everything else from a dog

In today's news, Elton John will be performing at DMX's funeral.
The song will be Candle Under the Spoon

John Lennon did nothing but indoctrinate people into his authoritarian anti-belief movement.
If he'd been allowed to live any longer, I sincerely believe he would've started a cult.

Fun fact: if you ate nothing but ramen, your annual food bill would only be $200-$600

Make sure to drink water today or I will come to your house and spit in your mouth

I'm an immigrant that became a stoner.
Only way I could get papers.

Apparently it's siblings day.
I haven't spoken to my sisters in almost 13 years.
Here's to another 13.

Why the duck is Chipotle and Aristotle pronounced differently?

You know what Princess Diana and Prince Philip had in common?
They were both pushing one hundred

My thoughts are with the Queen today.
It's never easy when your cousin dies.