Things I learned from therapy, part one: (chime in if you want to!):
1. The first 20 thoughts while you’re in crisis mode are a lie. Never believe them.
5. Our emotions all have the right to sit on our bus that we drive. We just cannot allow any of them to drive the bus for them. When sadness comes up and throws a fit we must pick it up. Acknowledge it and put it down. Tell it to sit at the back of the bus again.
I was always told I can’t have these feelings, but it’s so okay to have them. Acknowledge them. Let them go.
Thanks for sharing these beautifully worded mnemonics!
It must have been hard work to come up with these insights.
But it's probably even harder to always have them at hand in everyday life and not slip into habitual patterns.
I wish you the necessary stamina and success.
@Linuxtjej to add to that: if you DO choose to give an explanation, you get to decide what to include and when to say "I've explained it enough". There's no obligation to explain more than what you want to.
self harm (past tense), plurality & mental health
@Linuxtjej we struggled with self harm for YEARS in one form or another, but the key for us was "I want to hurt myself, but we share this body. do I want to hurt (random kid)?".
none of us want to do that, and we've done a pretty good job of redirecting those urges as a result. we still do harmful things, but they aren't as bad. harm reduction is better than nothing- aiming for "least possible harm" has been more attainable than "no harm"
...its still not easy, and its on our mind more days than not, but this is a very helpful way to look at it, plural or not
@Linuxtjej Love is a behaviour in the first place, feelings are companions. Love is respect and trust. It's a risk. To love someone is hard. To accept s.o. else's love even harder. The hardest thing of all is self-love, self-respect, self-trust. While it's the hardest to achieve, it's the key to everything.
It is OK to walk a way from people who hurt you. Even if they say that they need you, your sanity is as important as theirs.
Server run by the main developers of the project It is not focused on any particular niche interest - everyone is welcome as long as you follow our code of conduct!