CRIME #1: pour soup (chunky) onto a Police officer. Ensure soup is at room temperature to avoid startlement

CRIME #2: bring a turtle to a restauraunt. Assist the reptile in venting his suppressed, scaly rage upon all the tables, plates, etc found therein

CRIME #3: stand in the street with a rock. Scream at rock. Call the rock a Bad and Evil Rock. BAD ROCK

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