MH 

You know your MH is taking a nose dive when you have cleared leaves, trimmed the apple tree and a bush, done 4 loads of washing, emptied and filled the dishwasher today all while keeping 2 kids entertained and fed and still feel like a failure.

Hang on i forgot the tradition.

It's my birthday give me boosts.

So if I were single I could be "come on over babe I've got" *waggles eyebrows provocatively* "Air conditioning"

Show thread

I wonder if my ownership of an air conditioning unit currently probably makes up for all my basic character flaws?

lewd physics shitpost 

The smallest amount of time is the time it takes for a gamerbro to see a girl's feet and get an erection.

It's called a femme-toe second.

I was going to be called Angus if I was a boy, so since I’ve turned out to be neither boy nor girl I thought about combining Angus with Kirsty then realised the portmanteau would be Angsty

I can never remember if gender criticals do 50% more gender or 100% more gender.

Me and @diffractie have opened our own little store for art and sewn creations! :3 I've ordered art prints, so the shop will be stocked with them soon! For now, here's my current lot of sewn items: numonday.com/shop/willows-craf #mastoart #brynnsbears #art #crafts #sewing

The fun of the OH running a small seamstress business/webstore:
OH: I think demand for cloth facemasks is dropping off. No orders in 2 days, time to go back to making normal clothing
*3 orders appear in 2 minutes*
OH: ah someone with 160k followers on twitter just tweeting about my masks...

Bear reveal, now for sale! 

UK only! A handmade, 10" tall burgundy crushed velvet bear needs a loving home. They have lil' black eyes, brown felt pads on their paws, a black felt nose, and a blue and silver neck ribbon. Made over the course of 3 days, with a sewing pattern I made myself. Will you give this cutie a home? Not suitable for young children.

£40 inc P&P

To order: willowscraftsandcreations@protonmail.com invoices will be sent via paypal. #brynnsbears, #sewing #crafts

Show thread

COVID-19 Stuff but +ve 

My OH is an actual hero. Her response to the COVID-19 crisis was "well we're both going to be anxious so need to have lots more sex" and then she comes home from the shops the next day with an entire bag of Easter eggs!?

How does World Pangolin Day come around each year so dang fast!?

Show older
Mastodon

Server run by the main developers of the project 🐘 It is not focused on any particular niche interest - everyone is welcome as long as you follow our code of conduct!