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im just drifting thru a leaf in the gutter during a storm when the waters like vroom....inevitably gonna plunge into a sewer but its aight

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"i wanna be a mastodon funnyman!" he cried, "make me a mastodon funnyman!"

but the mastodon funnymaster did not say anything. he just kept on tooting

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me: i like your shoelaces :3
the mugger trying to take my wallet: stabs me repeatedly

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the cishet man in my discord server is pretending he's woke again send help

no this is my nico impression (open my mouth and garbage pours out)

WAIT was that the og server bc i think i left that like 3 days ago

oops james charles just came on my face 😳 brb 😜

he's was a he's
she's was a she's
can i make it anymore obvious

I love you all no matter what race, sex you are, just please stop killing babies.😭

people on local when i clog their timeline with posts specifically directed to people on my home tl they cant see:

hes the ugy that keeps making those my little pony yugoh cards in mspaint

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