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Mert @MertTheWonderful

joke (?, its not actually funny) about transphobe internet dicks

internet dick: really we shouldn't care about people's feelings this much

internet dick as well: which is why i think trans ppl should be banned in order to appeal to my vague sense of sporting justice

internet dick: i think sport should be fair, which is why i want people banned because i don't fucking understand hormones


ah im so full



electronics are total garbage
wiring is gory, and battery had actually rotted

still! nothing a soldering iron and dumb luck cant fix

@envgen oh also i think the guy im buying from might be an ancap

@envgen second hand mania (some model number probably)

very odd, its very nice (flame maple, pearl inlays, extensive eq), but also cheap and no-one seems to have taken any interest in it but me

obviously this makes it seem like some sort of trap but eh

buying a bass today :)))

saw a very weird play tonight

it was these four old women talking bollocks, except occasionally everything would go dark, these orange lights would flash and one of them would describe the recent apocalypse in a quite witty manner

also each one got to describe their inner torment in excruciating detail while all the others sat completely still

@theoutrider amazon should invest in tools to tell between irony and sincere purchases tbh would help in scenarios like this

@theoutrider OH GOD THIS

im still convinced its a deep cover student art project or some such

Mert boosted

in more Absurd UK Things: there's a new air freshener on the market here and both the TV spot and the very concept are indistinguishable from a Clickhole thing

and I'm almost willing to guarantee that the entire product happened because someone came up with the name and was too pleased with themselves to let it go

[toilet talk in video]

@envgen i think, crouched?

idk how big is the cabinet, is there anything in it etc?

my arm really hurts for literally no reason why

@Nine whyyyy did you not just leave earlier just out of... idk normal credit length intolerance?


nearly fell backwards on the stairs and caught the (wooden) rail by sort of grasping it but dug my thumbnail into it pretty hard and now my thumb REALLY FUCKING HURTS

just saw targeted advertising for a book i was looking at in a real bookshop the other day and now im paranoid

i knew going outside was bullshit




"hey mert, if you want to stop hating yourself, why do keep giving yourself reasons to?"

"shut up mert, just cause we're the same person doesnt mean either of us gets to have an opinion"