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When I'm at my girlfriend's house I hold in all my farts. Last weekend I fell asleep and then woke up to what I thought was a bomb going off in the bed.

Have you ever farted yourself awake because you were trying all day to be lady-like?

@MokiAwa i fart so much that i'm rewriting that spice girls song, the first line goes "if you wanna be my lover, ya gotta tolerate my farts"

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