Me, a functioning adult: self conscious that the cashier at the grocery store is judging me based on my food purchase decisions. 🙃

Shout out to the @FraminghamPD@twitter.com officer who decided it would be appropriate to beat on my hood to tell me to move my car, instead of just coming to my window. Really professional people you have working at your agency. 👍

What immediately goes through my head when someone declares "citation needed!" during online discourse.

I just became very self conscious of my age for a moment when I heard that they were giving away tickets to the Alice In Chains and Korn concert...on a classic rock station.

Recently learned the fastest way to get called a triggered snowflake, is to speak up when someone makes an "eww women" post in a chat.

Better get your shovel out, cause if I'm present and catch that shit, it's gonna snow.

When I swap things out for newer items around the condo, usually I try and donate or give away the older but still good item that's being replaced, however...I don't think anyone really wants a used toilet seat, no matter how clean it is.

Just saw this "Do It For Dogbomb" decal in the wild on my way home from work. I see you!

I don't think Pete is a big fan of the weather today. 🌇🔥

Not a weather expert, but I'm pretty sure that's a wall cloud with this storm just beyond Squire Road in Revere.

I canceled exactly one ride tonight b/c it was a shared route with wrong address, the passenger couldn't edit the ride, and I wasn't going to make them cancel and have them get stuck with a fee because I'm not a shitty person. I can't wait to be done driving for Lyft for good. 🖕

I've been asked to describe what ferret dooking sounds like, and it's not a noise I can duplicate, but if you turn this up, Oak is giving a free demonstration.

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