Geoff @OpinionatedGeek@mastodon.social

David: *plays a secret chord*
The Lord: “Damn son where’d you find this?”

I wonder why stories about telepathy aren't...
I lose the train of thought, and sit blinking for a moment. Then I read my notes, smile, and record another succesful experiment. It is perfectly reproducible - think about mind control, and...
What was I thinking about?
#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

Putting one hand on each of my cats and saying "thank you" quietly to them

That's basically the end of the story. I eventually pissed the guy off by looking up how many people go missing and are never found in a given year and we determined that if there ARE lizard people there probably aren't very many anyway. So I guess be friendly to aliens and steer clear of mysterious holes in the ground. TOOT CHUTE COMPLETE

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on you again. I’m stupid stop fooling me.

every neurotypical person ever:
you're quiet today

me:
can't talk

NT:
are you okay

me:
yeah. don't wanna talk

NT:
is it because of anything I have done?

me:
no

NT:
*just stares at me creepily*

me:
*squirms*

NT:
are you okay??

me:
I already said so

NT:
you sure?

me:
yeah. I'm just exhausted

NT:
why are you exhausted. you're hardly doing anything

me:
because talking is exhausting

NT:
oh so it IS because of me?!

me:
no

NT:
explain to me how this is about me

well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions

A possibly related phenomenon is called crown shyness – certain species of trees will very politely avoid overshadowing each other in a forest canopy, leaving gaps between each others' branches.

Mostly trees of the same species will do this, but different species of tree have been observed doing this too.

Again, no one's entirely sure how the trees do this, and some botanists are probably arguing about it somewhere right now.

@ifixcoinops Have you seen this handy guide?

If you have submitted patches (or translations) to Mastodon before and they've become part of the software, you can go here:

https://opencollective.com/mastodon/expenses/new

And submit an invoice for your work 💰

Q: Whom throws barrels at windmills, fancying them to be Marios?
A: Don Quikong

thank's for reading

No cephalods around here at all, no sir.

https://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2019/01/18/friday-not-a-cephalopod-not-an-octopus/

I'm a cutie pi and I <3.1416 you all.

Bonjour

me: working from home gives me the opportunity to focus on tasks free from the the distractions of a noisy office!

brain:

TROUT

TROUT

LET IT ALL OUT

THESE ARE THE FISH I CAN DO WITHOUT

SALMON

I’M TALKING TO YOU

SALMON

me: cool never mind

spider plant, spider plant

does whatever a spider can't

"Confirmed. The repeating fast radio bursts from space is a message."
"What does it say?"
"We don't know."
"Who sent it?"
"We don't know."
"Should we reply?"
"It was sent 1.5 billion years ago. They're dead."
"So what do we do?"
"Remember them."
"But we don't know them."
"Still."
#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

Friend sent me a picture containing only this text:

quick while the government is shut down let’s all switch to metric

I wholeheartedly approve.

Now you know if Libertarian was like this and not a love affair with Corporations I'd much prefer it. Now I will scream from roofs Altruism is more natural than selfishness and ego-stroking.