Pinned toot

Hello there! It's been a long time! I'm a girl now. And for those of you who still care about seeing my posts, follow me on birdsite. I'm done with mastodon. This will hopefully be my last post. twitter.com/AutumnOpossum

Pinned toot
Pinned toot

Hello there! It's been a long time! I'm a girl now. And for those of you who still care about seeing my posts, follow me on birdsite. I'm done with mastodon. This will hopefully be my last post. twitter.com/AutumnOpossum

why did a bunch of people who already followed me follow me again

oh man i hope that was the right answer- OH FUCK I GOT SLIMED NICKOLODEON SLIME OH MAN HAHAHA

Doctors who have studied Todd's hog issued a press release to say that it's "really fucked up"

ME, THROUGH MEGAPHONE: Corn prices.
BUILD-A-BEAR EMPLOYEE: Sir, please leave.

White people be like "we have coochie at home"

"Jacking Off" is actually the intellectual property of 21st Century Fox and if you ever make yourself cum without their express written permission you are breaking the law

So.... *Audience sniggers in pure anticipation of the joke* ... WHITE PEOPLE *audience goes into hysterics* KISS THEIR DOGS... *Audience begins to suffocate* ...ON THE LIPS *audience explodes, causing a tsunami that puts the entire Federated States of Micronesia underwater*

Gamers of the world unite, break our chains like we break our controllers

opening duck duck go in incognito mode, i look furtively over my shoulder, and type: jabba hut huge hog

ME, TO SCIENCE TEACHER: Ah, yes, heat is just when particles vibrate, and the more they vibrate the heatier it is!
ME, DODGING TEXTBOOK THROWN AT ME BY SCIENCE TEACHER: Ad hominem!

Good morning mastodon, where do you fall on the chart today?

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