Pinned toot

Why, hello Mastodon! I'm a from the .

I like long walks (beaches are optional), as well as , , and .

I'm pretty ordinary that way.

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Listening to Aqua. Am I the only one confused by a flower wanting a bee to be "faithful?" Clearly, a eurodance song should strive for biological accuracy in its sexual metaphors!

Pro: Online food diaries can lead to healthier eating.
Con: I don't actually like knowing how many calories are in my favourite snacks. D:

violent, depressing metaphors (-) 

Ever looked around your bedroom and realised that your plush cats are multiplying?

I'm surprised there isn't a Slenderman Breakfast Cereal, which is like fruit loops but with the Os crossed out. Don't stare at the box too long, kids...

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, DOUBLE shame on you.
In this house we don't victim blame.

Once a year, in October, General Mills releases their limited-time-only Halloween cereal line. It has not yet reached the local grocery stores, so I am buying conventional sugary cereal for now to practice, but soon...

Soon, the shipping schedules shall a-line, and Chocula and Booberry shall be mine!

..soon... πŸ¦‡ πŸ¦‡ πŸ¦‡

boost if u would date an enby I’m curious

Have you ever sat up in the middle of the night with the sudden realisation that you're actually FAR more trans than you thought you were? πŸ˜”

Suddenly and without warning, every online haunt of mine is filled with fan art of Bowsette.

This pleases me. 😁

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they're like "wow this is delicious and affordable" and I'm like "thank you for supporting my small independent business"

The plan seemed so perfect: buy snack foods that you like, but is too spicy for you to eat much of at one time, so you naturally reduce your intake and eat less.

1) It doesn't work.
2) I regret everything.

I'm like a modern day Snow White, except that when I sing with the animals its not bluebirds, its thousands and thousands of spiders.

Just realized I have 89 followers at the moment... which means I /missed/ my 69th! 😭

Social media is the only place where I feel happy with the knowledge that I'm being followed.

I don't know what to do with a day where everything goes according to plan. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop - like a Reverse Horror Film.

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