Wanna take this outback a downtown taco bell in a dark alley and pretend the world is on fire? Kiss with so much passion in our lips that we are gasping for air between enjoying each others tongues. Cold finger tips softly caressing each others bodies in the comfort of a dark night. Handful of your hair in my hand as I show you how I treat someone I truly crave....
Or are you afraid you'll fall in love?
i really hate the idea of public streets being fenced off to keep the rich moderates feeling safe in a city
@tarzanboy r u ded
4F Responses, trauma
I'm especially mentioning BIPoC in this because non-white cultures tend to have extra layers of nuance to family hierarchy. Generational trauma runs strong in some families, what a lot of us are also now coming to know as CPTSD where the trauma is not always obviously violent incidents but are extremely long, drawn out episodes of emotional trauma. our elders sometimes abuse us. we know this. its extremely complicated and it can come from anyone in our families that sit at the head of family power. in mexican families, thats often the eldest woman- a grandma or great grandma. and we're not gonna revolt against abuela, ah? so what do we do? we fawn over her. we jump through flaming hoops to please abuela and nothing you do is good enough. sometimes its just some mild toxicity that in time clears up. sometimes its flat out abuse you need to escape.
thats what i mean. and its still not a compliance or consent to being treated badly.
4F Responses, trauma
i kinda wanna talk a little bit about the entire "fight or flight" response that we're all familiar with because .. its only half the story. i mean, some of you already might know about a lesser talked about third, "freeze".
buuut some people, especially those with CPTSD, women or people that were raised in a typical female role (i don't know how to phrase this better: for example, i personally was raised and treated as a woman but i am not one) and *especially* BIPoC have one other reaction: fawn
so in a dangerous situation, there are four options: Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Faw. this is the 4F Reponses.
you can guess what the first three mean, but what the hell is fawn? fawning is the self defense mechanism you might associate with "Stockholm Syndrome", pleasing and obeying your captor to gain favor and keep yourself safe.
this is like, a REAL thing. if you ever come out of a toxic or abusive situation and feel confused for going out of your way to please someone you knew was hurting you? Thats your self defense mechanism in action. That is not compliance or consent, that is your brain and body keeping you alive. So if you ever experienced this?
Good job. You stayed safe. You survived.
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