can we please wildly speculate on the type of porn an MP was watching in the UK
it was literally in the house of commons, not in his home, so other people saw him at it
I asked my husband and he said "grapefruit blowie"
tfw you accidentally open porn https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-61280625
another update from his friend...
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-61290017
@PublicChaffinch 'Asked if it was a mistake, he said: "I will await the findings of the inquiry."' He sounds unhinged.
@PublicChaffinch it's pretty easy to not open porn by mistake actually so maybe he's just totally incompetent
@dumpsterqueer just hilarious excuses from now until the "investigation" from our farce of a country
@PublicChaffinch yeah, love that boris legitimized that spicy new way of 'answering' questions
Did you do *thing*?
I will wait for the results of the investigation
@PublicChaffinch it's basically saying 'I'll answer once it's been decided if I've got away with it or not' and I hate it
@dumpsterqueer ooh update! expected to quit lmao https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-61284686
@PublicChaffinch Next step: "I didn't know we weren't supposed to do that."
@Firesnakious "I am a sex addict" is my prediction
@PublicChaffinch thought "tearful interview" was going to be the peak but then you hit "tractors" and it's just too good
@WoozleWuzzle it's amazing, what an admission hahah
@WoozleWuzzle @PublicChaffinch Simply looking at tractors online, a completely normal thing to do.
@PublicChaffinch How did he get from tractors to that? Plough hub?
@FrazzledBrynn everyone is trying to figure out how he got from tractors to porn and by God, someone will do it
@PublicChaffinch @FrazzledBrynn "Somehow I ended up at Fucking Tractors dot com"
@Firesnakious @FrazzledBrynn I keep reading this apology in the voice of Sir Norman Fry and it's making me laugh even harder
@Firesnakious @PublicChaffinch @FrazzledBrynn someone elsewhere suggested he wanted tractorhitches dot com and got tractorbitches instead
@PublicChaffinch @FrazzledBrynn just google how to attach a backhoe to the power shaft
@PublicChaffinch @FrazzledBrynn I suspect he was going for Only Farms, but was sabotaged by autocorrect.
@PublicChaffinch @FrazzledBrynn There are literally so many brands of tractors with dirty names, we could be here all day: Bull Power, Cockshutt Plow, Cub Cadet, Mech Bull, Fluid Drag...even Hitachi makes tractors.
@PublicChaffinch honestly i think he still has a bright career ahead of him as an MP. that is, once the smoke clears. which should be fairly quickly, as i think it's obvious that he is a now ex-tractor fan
@PhoebeWallerPalladino triz, well done lmao
@PublicChaffinch worst Wurzels song ever
@PublicChaffinch @kevinwhipwrecked it's a fine song, even if it is a departure from their usual fare https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dohzrXT09w
@PublicChaffinch Altogether now, 🎶“‘E’s got a brand new combine harvester, and ‘e’ll show you the key…”🎶
@PublicChaffinch these goddamn tractor companies and their guerilla advertising
@PublicChaffinch This is all so much and I’m so confused?????
@platypus it's been hilarious
@PublicChaffinch last night(?) I was like “why is everyone talking about tractors???” And then…
@PublicChaffinch Using Bing to find tractors and deciding that "Dominator ploughing hard" is a great video to open in commons.
@Firesnakious @PublicChaffinch
Then sitting there watching it for 45 minutes, wondering when the tractor is going to turn up.
Completely understandable really.
Should have asked the ladies around and beside him if they've seen this video before and if they know when the Dominator appears.
@PublicChaffinch in related news, sextractor is a real thing (software for analysing astronomy imaging data)
@zoec I love this haha
@PublicChaffinch did anyone guess tractor porn?
@KevinMarks ha I just saw on twitter
@PublicChaffinch He's a Tory though, so I can only agree with this if the pumpkin was holding a Universal Credit application.
@pyramidhead76 ok now we're getting somewhere
@PublicChaffinch please let it be tifa from final fantasy like the italian parliament
@PhoebeWallerPalladino I'd forgotten about that haha. yes, something like that would be hilarious
gonna go with guy fucking a pumpkin