can we please wildly speculate on the type of porn an MP was watching in the UK

it was literally in the house of commons, not in his home, so other people saw him at it

@PublicChaffinch 'Asked if it was a mistake, he said: "I will await the findings of the inquiry."' He sounds unhinged.

@PublicChaffinch it's pretty easy to not open porn by mistake actually so maybe he's just totally incompetent

@dumpsterqueer just hilarious excuses from now until the "investigation" from our farce of a country

@PublicChaffinch yeah, love that boris legitimized that spicy new way of 'answering' questions

Did you do *thing*?

I will wait for the results of the investigation

:notlikethis:

@PublicChaffinch it's basically saying 'I'll answer once it's been decided if I've got away with it or not' and I hate it

@PublicChaffinch thought "tearful interview" was going to be the peak but then you hit "tractors" and it's just too good

@WoozleWuzzle @PublicChaffinch Simply looking at tractors online, a completely normal thing to do.

@FrazzledBrynn everyone is trying to figure out how he got from tractors to porn and by God, someone will do it

@Firesnakious @FrazzledBrynn I keep reading this apology in the voice of Sir Norman Fry and it's making me laugh even harder

@Firesnakious @PublicChaffinch @FrazzledBrynn someone elsewhere suggested he wanted tractorhitches dot com and got tractorbitches instead

@PublicChaffinch @FrazzledBrynn I suspect he was going for Only Farms, but was sabotaged by autocorrect.

@PublicChaffinch @FrazzledBrynn There are literally so many brands of tractors with dirty names, we could be here all day: Bull Power, Cockshutt Plow, Cub Cadet, Mech Bull, Fluid Drag...even Hitachi makes tractors.

@PublicChaffinch honestly i think he still has a bright career ahead of him as an MP. that is, once the smoke clears. which should be fairly quickly, as i think it's obvious that he is a now ex-tractor fan

@PublicChaffinch Altogether now, 🎶“‘E’s got a brand new combine harvester, and ‘e’ll show you the key…”🎶

@PublicChaffinch last night(?) I was like “why is everyone talking about tractors???” And then…

@PublicChaffinch Using Bing to find tractors and deciding that "Dominator ploughing hard" is a great video to open in commons.

@Firesnakious @PublicChaffinch
Then sitting there watching it for 45 minutes, wondering when the tractor is going to turn up.
Completely understandable really.
Should have asked the ladies around and beside him if they've seen this video before and if they know when the Dominator appears.

@PublicChaffinch in related news, sextractor is a real thing (software for analysing astronomy imaging data)

@PublicChaffinch He's a Tory though, so I can only agree with this if the pumpkin was holding a Universal Credit application.

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