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Killer: Your days are numbered
Me: Thanks! Its a calendar

Pinned toot

@butches You’re not dead yet because you’re powerful enough to kill god in one blow

Jokes on Butches as a verse i am both typoes and not depending in several factors such as the position of Saturn's moon Enceladus or how many rips are in my jeans

Imagine volleyball but played in wet concrete and not sand

Hey im going to the store do y'all need anything

With every paycheck I buy sixty pillows. My family is starving but we live a cushioned life.

If you set your phone down and look away for 0.03 seconds it will disintegrate into vapor.

Nut may contain traces of:
Nut, nut by-products, nut oils, nut extract, and cyanide

It's 🍆⛄️🎄DICKcember 🎄⛄️🍆and you 👉😏👉 know what that means 🙌😨‼️It's HOEliday season 🎄❄️and Santa🎅 is cumming 😩💦💦 to town 🏠🏢 and bringing 🎁presents🎁to all the good children 🧒👦👧, but if you've been a naughty 👎🚫❌ hoe 💋💦💦 you ain't getting any 🍆💦CUMMIES🍌💦 this year! Rudolph the 🔴red🔴 DICK🍆😍💦 SLUTdeer is ⏳waiting⌛️ to 💡light💡up the way to 🎅Santa's🎅 sexshop 🏩 where all you ho-😺ho-😸HOES 😽can get 💋naughty💋! 😜🍆💦💦

Please sir, thats my emotional support Danny DeVito

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