I have noticed something with my #tourettes #tics now that can fully relax and stop suppressing them.
I often do when stressed even alone, and causes me pain, so I have been #learning to relax.
I always have one of my arms up. I put one down, the other tics up, without fail.
My left hand is more intricate and detailed in its movements/tics when up, more gentle.
The right hand wants to fling about and be POWERFUL and POINT.
My mood influences which hand I tic with
@RationalizedInsanity I noticed things got better for me when i stopped trying to hold my tics too.
@jrcs3 I am a lot happier and in drastically less pain.
I was 300 pounds, barely alive and bed ridden after being addicted to drugs and on antipsychotics I shouldn't have been on for five years, cuz they thought I had schizophrenia and bipolar, or however you spell the combination. It messed me up more and made my tics worse once I was off them.
I am still recovering.
I feel a lot better, and I am now more fit than most people.
Not trapped by my own body.
@RationalizedInsanity at 60 I’m doing better than I would have ever imagined.
They put me on Thorazine when I was in 3rd grade; still having trouble trusting the experts.
Now I write software in C# for an insurance company.
@jrcs3 I was on every antipsychotic there is at some point.
And pretty much everything else.
I still need medication.
But it's a lot more simple.
I need gabapentin, as much as they are legally allowed to give me, and they're considering pregabalin because I am gaining a tolerance.
Without it, I can't sit still. My muscles cramp up and tic forever, then I never sleep and go psychotic and delusional from sleep deprivation.
Buspirone for severe PTSD and panic, panic make my tics worse.
I basically refuse to go on any psych drugs anymore and I have made so much more progress on my mh off of them than I ever did while on them.
I have bipolar probably, well I get manic sometimes though I don't really get depressive episodes, so what ever that is.
But all of my worst episodes were when I was on drugs and they got noticably worse when I started them. I was only able to put up with them for 2 years and then I finally just went cold turkey on them because I knew in my bones they were making shit worse. My doctor didn't want me to stop them but like fuck them. Pretty strong antidepressants, mood stabilizers, briefly antipsychotics... Never again.
I still get manic like maybe a few times a year, but it's totally manageable. I can just ride it out. And they are getting more manageable overtime. Exercise, diet, shit is working for me. I think medication should be the last resort not the first thing you try.
@gnomekat @jrcs3 If you don't have lows, then you probably aren't #bipolar at all.
I gets constantly misdiagnosed. I was also an #addict and they thought my compulsive behavior was due to #mania
I was actually terrified of everything due to complex PTSD issues, and my response was fear and aggression and crazy #behavior as a defensive show.
Then I have #tourettes and severe #adhd which explains the mood swings, and manic levels of energy.
May be the same for you, not sure.
I'm not terribly concerned about the actual labels. Describing it as a manic episode gets the point across. I stop sleeping, super high energy, unstable emotions, high paranoia, borderline psychotic but not like crazy bad I just start to think things like videos or random posts on the Internet are trying to communicate directly with me. Like there is a grand conspiracy trying to manipulate me.
I am able to recognize I am in an altered state and I just ride it out. They are uncomfortable but very manageable once I realize what is happening. I just have more sessions with my therapist than normal and take off work, I'm lucky that I am able to take a week off work without much issue. (work in software we are spoiled)
Tho I definitely probably have cptsd and ptsd from a bunch of shit that happened to me. But like I just don't care anymore about the labels, I have figured out the path that is working for me to improve things and that is all that matters to me.
@gnomekat @RationalizedInsanity
Software and Work from Home have given me the space I need!
I have been working without a gap since 2019.
I don't go too heavy into labels, though I do throw Tourettes around if I get out of sorts, people have some context. (I am "high functioning" which can get me into trouble when I fail to meet expectations)
@gnomekat @jrcs3 I do not put people into hard lables either.
My brain is just very information obsessed, and I like knowing the actual reason and pathology behind why I behave the way I do.
Simply so I know myself the best way I can, and how to best treat that condition so I can be healthy, and happy.
That's it :)
I am just super direct and like understanding things cuz it's fun to me too.
Yeah I like understanding things too. Like I saw a Harvard study recently that was looking at the relationship between gut health and bipolar. Specifically bipolar manic episodes.
I have long thought there was some kind of relationship with my gut and my manic episodes because during them my gut will no joke vibrate. Like my intestines are writhing in there or something. Very strange. And I tend to lose my appetite and get diheria.
Any way the study was looking at probiotics and rehospitalization during manic episodes and they found like a 70% reduction in rehospitalization for the group they prescribed probiotics too. Kinda crazy if true and like it also lines up with my own experience. So now I am trying probiotics, can't hurt imo if I eat some Greek yogurt and drink some kombucha right.
@jrcs3
Yeah wfh is a life saver for me.
@RationalizedInsanity @jrcs3
I'm right with you. I stopped all my psych drugs by November 2003. I don't feel great, but I feel a lot better than I did with the drugs. I'm not perfect, but I'm my own kind of weird.
@bardmoss @jrcs3 I didn't feel great for a long time.
I #relapsed a few times before I could get clean from illicit #drugs
They calm my tics. I was in HUGE pain both emotionally and physically first getting off antipsychotics, and harder drugs.
I went through therapy and groups and a few hospitals, #jail once.
Slowly I felt a bit better. Okay after about a year. Good after a year 1/2.
I have been sober (spare weed) for two years or so, and feel INCREDIBLE.
@RationalizedInsanity @jrcs3
I understand and I'm glad you managed to get clean. I did not have the illicit drugs to start with, the things my doctors were giving me were often being used as recreational drugs and they sure didn't feel recreational to me, so I didn't try much of anything else.
@bardmoss @jrcs3 I started with illegal drugs, got hospitalized and put on meds that hurt me, because nobody could figure out what the hell was wrong until I almost died when I was 27 and was doing therapy for other reasons, and met a doctor with Tourettes who immediately apologized on behalf of the entire #usa medical system.
He saw me doing things he did.
I watching a bunch of #youtube people with Tourettes and saw myself doing similar things, and it saved my life.