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Chris Armstrong

@doctorjaymarie@mastodon.world @MikeyMcFilms

Let's push this joke format to the nerd limit.

Three logicians walk into a bar.

The barman asks "Would you all like a drink?"

The first logician says "I don't know".

The second logician says "I don't know, either."

The third says "Yes. Yes we would."

@doctorjaymarie@mastodon.world @MikeyMcFilms

A tachyon asks for a drink.

A proton walks into a bar and orders a drink. The barman asks "are you sure?"

The proton replies "Yes, I'm positive".

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman pulls a pint and the neutron asks how much.

The barman replies, "for you, sir, no charge."

Later, a neutrino walks through the bar.

A tachyon walks into a bar.

@SamanthaJaneSmith @doctorjaymarie@mastodon.world @MikeyMcFilms We have to stick with physics jokes because the good chemistry ones argon.

@SamanthaJaneSmith @Rhodium103 @doctorjaymarie @MikeyMcFilms

these puns are elemental

pure gold

not to be hoarded: i will never barium like pirate treasure, i will share even with apple folk -- feel free to cerium, she knows 'em all.

@Rhodium103 @doctorjaymarie @MikeyMcFilms

A Higgs boson goes into a Catholic church. The priest says "you can't be here, calling yourself the god particle is sacrilege!"

The Higgs boson says, "okay, I'll go. But I'm curious--without me, how do you have Mass?"

@WizardOfDocs

TBH, that Higgs Boson shouldn’t be too cocky about having any mass to speak of. I keep forgetting where I put mine, and it’s REALLY hard to find again.

@WizardOfDocs @Rhodium103 @doctorjaymarie @MikeyMcFilms
Higgs flounces out…

The Proton stands up, emboldened, and decides to throw his newly found weight around:
“Good riddance. He was particularly annoying. Always preaching to the quarks!”

“I only came here to escape the cold dark void”
Sobs the Neutron, in a reduced state.

“Stop overreacting!”
Whispers the priest.
“It’s bad for business”

…and so on 🙏🏼

@Rhodium103
After how many drinks a logican would be fuzzy? :thonking:

“It depends”, says a Talmudist.

@doctorjaymarie@mastodon.world @MikeyMcFilms