I don't think people who proclaim "poverty is motivating!" understand just how bad things have gotten.
I've been busting my ass on businessy projects for ten years despite stress and isolation and all kinds of nonsense and only _just now_ am I seeing results. There's "working hard" and then there's "okay maybe something's broken with the system and it's not just me."
No one should work as hard as I have for as long as I have with so little to show for it.
We have a civilization-scale surviorship bias. Chelsea Manning gets a platform. How many trans women go to jail on BS charges, suffer the same abuses, and don't get a presidential commutation?
Tim Cook runs Apple. How many gay nerds can't even get a single click on their hardware projects?
I could go on, but you get the idea.
I'm just tired of constantly lowering my expectations only to not be able to reach them despite all my effort.
My current low is "can afford a nice scooter, a good camera, and a little American flag for the scooter so rednecks won't run over me." It's...a long way off.
Me: *lowers expectations*
Me: *tries to achieve them with considerable effort*
I used to think I'd be able to live in a modest apartment in a mid-sized city some day. That's like...how. What. It feels so alien as an ambition now.