I've bought a midi keyboard, started to futz around with sonic pi and visor, trying to make sounds and pictures. Everything I make is terrible and probably will remain terrible, and I'm working on being okay with that and expelling the capitalist notions of value from my head.

I keep buying occult books telling myself and others it's just for aesthetic reasons, but deep down I suspect I'm actually looking for 'truth', or a solution to the puzzle, which is unlikely to exist. Then again, I learn and change, and that is exciting :D

While sorting shelves in the library today I found a collection of poems called "Kinda wanna fuck, kinda wanna die". Cry of a generation.

Is there any way to train yourself to feel *more* strongly? Almost all advice I see is about controlling or limiting feeling, but I think my emotions are too muted.

the funniest shit ever is that right wingers believe art ended in 1950

Uh-oh. I've fallen into old birdsite habits of never posting because I think I'm not funny/insightful/good enough.

I got a lot of good material for introspection from Shannon Strucci's videos on parasocial relationships.

More books to be anxious about never getting around to reading!

A frost-covered bit of rock under a streetlight. I love the texture of it.

I know I'm breaking new ground here but: dreams are weird. That's my take for the day.

Show thread

honestly y'all i've been kinda lonely and isolated for a while and all the genuine happiness and engagement and friendship goin on on this site is so cathartic

If you like me are interested in the history of the esoteric, occultism and all that jazz, I really recommend "The Secret History of Western Esotericism Podcast". It's well told and detailed. shwep.net/

ha hha idiots. you are following me now. just wait until i post a bunch of reall y depressing shit. then where will you go. pls dont go

Show older

The original server operated by the Mastodon gGmbH non-profit