getting into the Halloween spirit on my way to a few countries in the most Halloweeney place in all the world: the Middle East

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"halloween" was initially a portmanteau of the words "hallowed" and "ween" meaning saintly or revered penis

my partner just accused me of having an affair with the sea

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Going to buy a pig and call him squealy dan

those pianos in public places are about the worst thing in the world

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it's good when you like someone's content and you're like "they are a good person" and then you find out they are also hot and you're like "I'm not even liking that person just because they're hot, how deep am i?"

off birdsite for a while as travelling in middle east

said person is literally a Bard who has won the Eisteddfod

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small brain: If I start gambling again then I will lose all my money
galactic compulsive gambling brain: Think of life as essentially one, very long football match. Yeah you've made then lost tens of thousands on over 0.5 goals and under 1.5 goals in the first half, but if you quadruple down on over 5.5 goals now then you'll pay off your debts in one go and be able to retire early right?

got three drinks on my desk so I'm gonna spend the morning pissing and checking mastodon while pissing

to my colleague who keeps asking me questions about our website when we are the only two in the office

DON'T MAKE ME TAKE ONE OF MY EARPHONES OUT AGAIN FOR A QUESTION I CAN'T AND WON'T ANSWER MOTHERFUCKER

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i feel like some of you need to cut each other way more slack than you do but 🍵

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alright mastodon its friday, let's have some fun! tag your friends! Ive tagged mine, they're in this !

@leonthotsky@knzk.me
@nuttgodd@bofa.lol
@jzs42069

@LuigiEsq
@em
@Pepsi@radical.town

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so much nicer over here because not every thread ends in someone denying that the Chinese govt is ethnic cleansing its Muslims

I don't really know what fortnite is but it's the thing I least want to do

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