*goes fucking rabid starts foaming at the mouth*

thinking back on the time i rubbed tabasco into my eyeballs to challenge my immune system only to have a friend tell me eyeballs have nothing to do with the immune system. whoa boy was that embarrassing!

be whatever you wanna be!

except that mothefucker that stops at the yellow when we both could have made it.

If You Die Before Your Pizza Is Delivered, Dominoโ€™s Will Deliver It To Your Next Of Kin

you!!! cant!!! โ€œfixโ€!!! another!!! person!!!

Yโ€™all ever see a girl and ur spirit just leaves ur body?

Imagine if straight people existed ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”

me: i should probably try to lower my cholesterol/ work out more/ lose my excess stress weight in general

also me: i should totally make cinnamon rolls for dinner

@SalemNight : Youโ€™ll go to the bad place ๐Ÿ˜‚
Me: weโ€™re already there ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ
Because retail is literal hell lmao

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