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Shower Thoughts @ShowerThoughts@mastodon.social

Goodbye, internet. It was nice having you as long as we did.

The ideal Star Wars trailer would be the opening title crawl and nothing else.

Pee Wee Herman is apparently the only celebrity in Hollywood able to keep his hands to himself.

In the Star Wars universe, are there just random lasers zooming around the galaxy (from all of the missed shots from battles in space)?

Patting down your pockets to make sure you have your wallet, phone and keys is like doing a Quick Save.

Shirts are crazy, your body goes in 1 hole and out 3

Maybe birds are secretly little robots that recharge by sitting on power lines

Life would be a lot more fun without fall damage.

Since smartwatches can now read your pulse, there should be a feature where it deletes your browser history when your heart beat stops.

We should apply traffic laws in high school hallways so students can learn the rules of the road and get to class faster

If a vampire put a mirror in one side of a pair of glasses, they could see 360 degrees at one time.

True friendship is when silence is not awkward but enjoyable.

"Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" is what happens after "It's Raining Men"

Realistically, Super 8 was Stranger Things before it was cool.

Sleep paralysis is such bollocks. First you can't move and your breathing is cramped and then your brain is like "here, have a demon."

You could be allergic to sea lions and never in your life find out.

People who say "ignore bullies and they'll stop" were never long-term targets for bullies.

Everyone makes fun of theatre and band geeks in high school but they look up to actors and musicians

Anxiety feels like when you miss the last step when going down stairs, except it doesn't go away.

Swipping on tinder while horny is like grocery shopping while hungry.