[first day as a vampire]

Me (pointing at Count Dracula): Oh, so THIS guy can sleep in the dirt of his homeland, but if I want to sleep with Mr Binkles-- who I've had since I was a BABY-- all of a sudden I'M the problem?

Count Dracula: "Mister Binkles vill not be quiet and we are HIDING! And who geefs their Furby a name?"

Gold eyed, swift, broad shouldered & jet black save for a single bone white toe, Razor was a perfect feline hunter.

Not even sunlight could escape her stalking. She voraciously absorbed every patch of solar energy - exactly the kind of power needed for long days of vigorous napping.

At night, even in the deepest dark, she could always unerringly find the coldest knees to gently curl behind, scaring away all chilliness with a fierce purr.

heyyy, commissions are up again! i was robbed earlier today so i need a new phone๐Ÿ‘

only offering sheets and headshots this time around. fill out the form on my site (sherm.link/com ) or DM if interested. also got a ko-fi ko-fi.com/sherm

i can only accept paypal

rts highly appreciated THANKS #art #commissions

"Why do you stay where you're mistreated?" asked the owl.
The tired, hungry woman with bleeding feet sighed, newspaper stuffed into her worn-out shoes, legs dangling over the retaining wall, an aged dog asleep beside her.
"DO they love you?"
"No. It's Baz who does. But he's too old to travel. What kind of monster would I be, leaving my dog?"
"Would Baz want you to suffer?"
"Then you wouldn't be a monster, you'd be free."

The Haunted House (โ€œmdom not assholeโ€) continues!



โ€œIโ€™mโ€ฆ I guess Iโ€™m not alone, am I?โ€ She smiled; she didnโ€™t want the house to feel like she didnโ€™t want to be around it.

Even if she wasnโ€™t a hundred percent sure that the house wasnโ€™t going to eat her.


The sound of 6ft of solid reptile hitting the ground is as unnerving as witnessing it.
"Oh no, Ghetti-o! What happened?! Did you try to climb the curtain rails again?"
I watched the serpent's owner fuss over it as one might a puppy as it slithered under the coffee table and balled up.
She must've seen the shock on my face because she reassured me earnestly, "Oh, she's harmless, like a big ol' pool noodle but not as smart."
By evening, I believed her.

i have yet to see a videogame with dual wielded crossbows that calls them "akimbows"

A young artist ran in with a box, panicked.

"Can you help me please? THIS showed up on my doorstep last week and I don't know what to do with it. It keeps me up all night, I can barely eat, sometimes it makes me forget to breathe."

I peeked into the cardboard box; a small, large-eyed muse peeked back out at me.

"Are you trying to get rid of it..?" I asked.

"Oh heck no! I just don't know how to discipline it or what to feed it."

I've never really liked kids. When I was one myself, I always got saddled watching my siblings which meant learning to curb my temper when my stuff got ruined. Little kids are practically their own species, the smaller, the more alien. Eventually I learned to understand them. My skills earned me babysitting money through my teens.

Maybe that's why I was prepared and able to care for a literal alien baby whose pod crash landed in my corn maze.

๐ŸŒฑ๐ŸŒฑ๐ŸŒฑ๐ŸŒป ๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒฑ๐Ÿ„๐ŸŒฑ๐ŸŒฑ
๐ŸŒณ๐ŸŒฑ๐ŸŒป ๐ŸŒฑ๐ŸŒฑ๐ŸŒผ๐ŸŒผ๐ŸŒฑ๐ŸŒฑ

"Must you search for secrets behind EVERY waterfall we find?"

"Yes!" called the princess as she marched into the water.

The ranger sighed. It wasn't that it was a waste of time; the opposite in fact, EVERY waterfall so far had concealed a secret; even the previous one, barely the width of a palm, had yielded a magic ring... But at some point she would find danger instead of delight.

"An orphaned unicorn! Can we keep it?"

At SOME point...

His eyes followed the object of his affection.

He was wearing the pigeon sweater he'd given him for their anniversary. He was sweet that way.

They'd lived together for 44 years now. They'd talked about marriage, and put it off, every year...

"Ernie... Do you want to finally have that wedding?"
"Only if we can invite the whole Street!"
Bert sighed, but expected this,"Sure."
"You don't mind?"
"YES, I do mind... but I'll make an exception."

The princess had been locked in her tower for days.

The voice behind the door telling servants & nobles alike to Go Away was distinctly hers, but all were baffled as to why she had imprisoned herself.

Speculation flared; was she busy creating an epic tapestry? Hiding a lover? Was she kidnapped but a decoy was imitating her voice?

Indeed, it was an imposter.
The princess was adventuring, and her enchanted canary would be owed much millet.

"Drew! You're're forced to wear a uniform of polyethylene terephthalate and polyurethane? It's very distressinging and makes me uneager to buy the foods you're're promoting!"

"Hah, tell that to my boss, I'd love to take this off... don't you have mascots like this on your world?

"Yes but they're're composed of light and reeds and automatons - we'd'd NEVER put a PERSON in such a position!"

"I wish I was on your planet right now."

"Me too."

One thing I'd totally forgotten about after a decade or more of exclusively using LCD screens, is that CRTs get warm during use.

#retrocomputing #mastocats #c64 #cat

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