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"I keep trying to pull myself up by my bootstraps but I just keep failing," I cried to my familiar.

She shook her head, whiskers bristling and tail thrashing.
"I was alive when that phrase was coined, you know. It doesn't mean that at all. It's more like... it's ridiculous and impossible to perform such an action."

"Oh," I sniffed, "..What are you doing?"

She paused at tugging my shoelaces, "I'm trying to help pull you up."

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