"This wine taste testing event has been spectacular, I daresay, TESTICULAR!"
Until that moment I had never seen anyone snort wine out their nose. It looked very uncomfortable and at least one person was carted away in an ambulance. I was escorted out shortly after and banned from future events.
I even stopped making up portmanteaus after that day, so great was my shame.
One day I hope to return to my home - I miss my dog and my spouse.