If you’re not cutting asymmetric hems on your t-shirts idk

Selfies 

Local sword lesbian on “staying goth in summer”

The only manual PDF I can find is in Hungarian (maddeningly, the last page of the scan shows that it switches to English) but you can see that half of the briefcase was a big-ass battery.

The gag there is that our battery technology hasn't really improved since, we're just better at using less power, and have way more cell towers now.

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snarking about parenting/billionaires 

"Son from now I'll be parenting the Steve Jobs way. No more phones at the dinner table, also I'm giving all my money to my girlfriend, ensuring your mother lives in poverty for three decades, and I just called Newsweek to tell them you're not my son."

I was feeling pretty uncertain about my look today until I looked in a dang mirror.

[Slaps roof of stillsuit] this baby can fit so much urine and feces in it

Need to finish lunch (Rockstar Pure Zero and cheddar snacks) and get to the gym. I am truly a

We trained a neural network to combine all men on Tinder into one composite profile.

boost to give puppers nice dreams of getting a pizza all to herself

Tattoos 

Eyeliner tattoo is healing really well. Taken in the brief moment before I reapply antibiotic ointment. Because my eyes are deeply hooded, I have to raise my eyebrows to see the full line.

Yo these kits are incredibly fun and relaxing, and at the end you get a good sci-fi gurl who can idk hold your business cards??

You don’t need any glue or tools except maybe a cutter to free the pieces.

If we are mutuals on here ping me and I will order you one! No gag, just trying to give you something to look forward to. I’ll just need an address to send it to you.

First time Minerva has copied her brother with this dinnertime nonsense.

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