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This is your daily reminder that Barbara Bush is still alive.

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Imagining Mario dropping through a pipe into an actual shit filled sewer, vomiting and screaming "Mamma Mia!" to make myself laugh is self care.

What if you jerk off and it comes into contact with our material? Please discard your suit IMMEDIATELY.

Next time you're in Rapid City, SD come try the pizza one reviewer described as "pizza"!

Cucumbers are great, but have you ever tried covering your eyes with pepperoni?

Trying to climb the charts of popularity, just like in Rapid City, SD where we are Yelp’s 17th most popular pizza restaurant.

Lot's of y'all have gotten the gist so far as I imported my follows already but a heads up, I have moved accounts to @ShartGarfunkel

Boost to help get the word out so you can block my trash content on a new instance!

Lot's of y'all have gotten the gist so far as I imported my follows already but a heads up, I have moved accounts to @ShartGarfunkel

Boost to help get the word out so you can block my trash content on a new instance!

MO'NIQUE: And then there was phone weasel.
MICHAEL IAN BLACK: [miming using a phone] boop. boop boop.
EZRA KOENIG: I guess the question on everybody's mind was "who is phone weasel?" And nobody knew!
MICHAEL IAN BLACK: [still miming using a phone] boop. boop boop. Hello?

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Ho Chi Minh died 49 years ago, today and didn't even get to see the full extent of how bad he embarrassed the marines and that's tragedy right there. Pour some out for a real one.

They call it "eating shit" because the first surfer to fall off of their board went mouth to ass into an Orca. This event is covered extensively in the documentary "Blackfish"'s deleted scenes.

Celebrating Labor Day the same way I always do; by fantasizing about Jeff Bezos getting hit by an Amazon drone and exploding into gold coins.

A reminder this Labor Day that there is no such thing as unskilled labor.

Celebrate by hitting a CEO with a bat until gold coins fall out like a piñata.

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