y’all having a content warning system so you can be thirsty on main without automatically violating people’s boundaries is cool and all but have you considered the simple pleasure of having to assume that every single thought and nude photo you put out into the world might be forwarded to your boss?

we lost a bright, shining generator of ad revenue today. gonna be taking some time to process.

fine, fuck it. twitter supports now. just hit the button and your avatar will fucking animorphs into a shy but friendly purple fox who always stands behind his friends. just like that. boom. furry now.

is that enough to make you come back!?!?!?

Listen, I know why you’re here. You want to “talk to people” and “have them earnestly engage with you in return” or some bullshit like that. But, consider this: being a passive receptacle for the mediocre jokes of journalists in their early thirties.

Maybe, one day, they’ll retweet your jokes too! The sky is the limit!

We have people over here who do *podcasts*. Podcasts! Who can do that?

I mean, Elon Musk hangs out here sometimes! Elon Musk! Did you know that one of his rockets actually took off, once?

Heady, I know, but it’s true. But who are we to judge them? They were born, once. You and I were born, too. We have that in common. So what if they’re Nazis? Really, I don’t think we should be dismissing people we have so much in common with. I want our apartment to be a place that embraces a variety of perspectives.

I know, I know, you don’t like my friends. I know how you don’t like it when I let them sleep on our couch, or your side of the bed, and I know I kicked you out for weeks at a time whenever you got angry about that.

But have you considered the fact that they are..... human beings?

. Or should it be ? I hope you remember me, I certainly haven’t forgotten you. I know things got bad, honey, but I still believe in us.

Come back.

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