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@Xaxifrax weird how you're allowed to touch a baby and say 'coochie' but only in a very specific way, otherwise you're suddenly creepy

A normal adult to a baby: Coochie Coochie

My fucked up brain, momenrarily: wait what the fuck is going on here?

Mastodon is cool because I no longer have to imagine what your penises look like, I just click a few blacked out images and boom

[THERAPIST]: "Not only are your Twitter and Mastodon accounts highly disturbing, but the differences in tone seem to indicate a proclivity for compartmentalizing your lif--"

[ME]: *high-pitched mocking voice* "ohhh look at me I'm a therapist ohhh I think I fucking know everything ohhhhh."

I can only assume that every furry likes trains from these results

Boost if your a furry or like trains but not both

A wooden guillotine is archaic, we should just have automated drone drop giant blades on the heads of the rich

I continue to read Pol (pee oh el) as PoI (pee oh eye) and wonder why people seem so interested in 5 year old cbs crime dramas

A service that pairs up angry activists who want to kill gamers with depressed gamers who want to die, the official mastodon instance of the Fark media network.

Bee movie but every time they say the word bee I unplug my computer

@Xaxifrax @helldude according to wikipedia the intellectual property rights of KoA technically belong to the taxpayers of Rhode Island... which is kind of rad?

White liberals be like:

I’m trying to collect a friend from every marginalized group in order to complete my Wokédex.

Oh Harry Potter huh? That's cute. Have you ever heard of the Matrix?

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